Tag Archives: meme

Read Me A Story, The Meme

I’d have titled this “TMI Thursday, Storytime Edition,” if this was still Thursday. In fact it’s Friday, and there’s not even much of that left.

1. Describe your favorite place to cozy-up with a good book.
Once upon a time, the answer was the lunch table. Things have changed and I don’t bring reading to work with me any more. I wish my answer could be a big comfy chair, but while I do have a recliner, it’s kind of in the dark, so that’s no good. I do most of my reading in bed.
2. What do you read when you’re on the toilet?
I do not understand the bringing of magazines and newspapers onto the toilet. Maybe it’s different for parents who have no other refuge from their horrible children, and maybe it’s different for those who suffer chronic constipation, but I just don’t see any need for lollygagging over the crapper.
3. Do you read when taking a bath?
They say that it’s delightful and relaxing, but I’ve only ever ruined books that way. “They say” is a great liar.
4. If you can, do you read when at the gym?
How would that even work? I guess if you sort of propped up a book on the treadmill console, maybe. I doubt that would be any good. The movement would make it easy to lose your place, and you’d easily knock the book down when turning the pages.
5. Do you still read newspapers and or magazines?
I have one magazine subscription, and that’s to Make magazine. Sometimes weird industry periodicals show up at my desk, and I feel just a little bit guilty throwing those away unread, so I sort of skim through those, you know, just to be polite.
6. What are your favorite genres to read?
Science Fiction, cyberpunk and space opera. Fantasy is nice, too, but it has to be the good stuff. Humorous memoirs. Science, technological history.
7. Do you read one book at a time or can you read several?
I prefer to just stick to one, when possible.
8. If you start a book, do you finish it no matter what?
There is a thing called the fifty-page test, that says you needn’t continue reading after page fifty if you can’t stand what you’ve read so far. I’ve only canceled a few readings at page fifty. It’s usually in the middle third that I usually start to question a book. But if I’m more than halfway through, I will usually plod on to the end, just to find out what happens. There could well be an astounding payoff that would make the trek worth it. (There just as easily could not be.)
9. Did your parents read to you when you were growing up?
Yes, they did, until I could read for myself.
10. Have you read to your kids/nephews/nieces?
I have a picture of myself with a niece holding a book, so I must have done.
11. How do you feel about reading books vs. using electronic devices? Have your feelings evolved from one or two years ago?
Electronic devices have the portability aspect nailed down. However, you can still have any number of paper books open at one time, they don’t automatically dim to save battery life, and they won’t just vanish if things happen with software.
BONUS
When was the last time you looked at or read an adult magazine to satisfy yourself? When was the last time you even saw one?
It was long ago and far away, in a magical land called the Pre-9/11 World. This was back when the Web was all in Times New Roman and full of speckly GIFs, so of course printed media was king. As we all know, that reign didn’t last for much longer. I think the last time I saw such a publication was probably in a liquor store, just a glimpse of the discreet corner, and its rows of prurient, yet primly-wrapped, publications.

TMI Thursday, Stinker Edition

THERE’S SOMETHING IN THE AIR

1. Do you have a sensitive nose?
Is there such a thing as being smellerblind? I may well have once been so. For a time, I worked in the printing industry, infumed in a pervasive miasma of pungent inks and solvents. After a while, I stopped noticing the chemical reek. By then I often had to explicitly be told when the trash or refrigerator or fish tank at home needed attention. That eventually went away after a change in career.
2. Do you have allergies?
If so, I don’t know to what.
3. Do you have a big nose? =}
I… guess? We can’t all have the late Michael Jackson’s anime nose.
4. Are there any smells that trigger memories for you?
Orange peel. A particular herb that grows in the country, whose name I don’t know. A closet full of old books. The almondy hand soap you sometimes find. A particular type of refrigeration. Rain and solder. Jasmine flowers. Pool chlorine.
5. What are some of your favorite food aromas?
Diners used to smell of a combination of: coffee, beef gravy, and a puff of cigarette smoke. I find it oddly comforting when a restaurant’s restroom smells just of Pine-Sol. As for cooking, everyone seems to love the smell of sauted garlic and onions and grilled beef. I do, too. Oh, and pizza.
6. What are some of your favorite smells in nature?
The rain on the parched earth. Freshly cut grass.
7. Do you use air fresheners?
Sometimes, but they usually just smell hokey and fake for a few days, then they just sort of evaporate. Better just to have good ventilation.
8. Do you like scented candles?
Not often. They usually just smell like soap, or cheap candy.
9. Which food smells make you want to hurl?
One time, I was walking past this restaurant, and I seriously could not tell if I was smelling their food or their garbage. They have since closed.
10. What is the absolute worst smell for you?
Melted insulation, burned metal, charred phenolic: something bad has happened.
BONUS
What smells or aromas turn you on?
I really had to think about this one, but I’m not sure there is one particular cologne or funk or other aroma that would really raise my eyebrows. But then again, maybe there is, maybe it’s something from long ago or maybe it’s something from just recently, but I won’t know for sure until I encounter it again, and those molecules in the air trigger a connection in my brain.

TMI Thursday, Sochi Edition

I spaced out on doing the 12-on-12 photo challenge yet again. To be honest, it would have been an extremely boring twelve photos, as I spent almost the entire day at my desk. I’d claim I didn’t even see the sun, but I now recall that I did, in fact, buy a bag of junk food at Seven-Eleven.

As a consolation prize, please enjoy this TMI Tuesday Thursday meme instead. Or don’t.

THE WINTER OLYMPIC GAMES

1. In general (we’ll get to the politics in a few) do you watch the Winter Olympics?
I can’t say that I’ve ever really watched the Winter Olympics, and this hasn’t really changed this year. I saw a few minutes of ice skating, and that was only because the restaurant where I ate had it on all the screens.
2. Winter or Summer?
I can’t say that I’m a big Summer Olympics fan, either. I know, this is the point where one is expected to make a lascivious comment about swimsuits and/or wrestling singlets, and I certainly would not argue with such comments in general, but scanty sportswear is not quite enough motivation to get me to tune in.
3. What are your favorite winter events? Do you follow any of them outside the game?
This may come as a shock, but I don’t follow sports in general.
4. Which sport needs to stay and which one needs to go?
I just tell you that I don’t follow sports and now you ask me to pass judgment on them? Even if I could name more than ice skating and snowboarding, I still would not. The fact that anyone would train so hard to try and be the best in the world at any sport should give it some legitimacy.
5. Which is the weirdest sport?
I heard there was an event that consisted of cross-country skiing and target shooting. The idea’s more amusing to me than it is weird.
6. What is your POV on boycotting The Olympics by countries and or athletes?
As with boycotting anything else, it’s a gesture, but like any gesture, it probably won’t solve anything on its own.
7. Are you boycotting NBC or any Olympic sponsors?
Yes, my total disinterest in the games has really been a carefully calculated political statement all along. Moo hoo ha, moo hoo ha.
8. Do you think boycotts are effective?
Almost never. An effective consumer boycott requires a critical mass of participants, and there are just too many consumers today. It all just sort of averages out. Now, a sponsor boycott or a vendor boycott can be quite effective.
9. If you were an athlete what would you do?
It would probably be something that was equally obscure, ridiculous, and manly. Caber toss, maybe, or that thing where you run on a barrel floating in the water, or maybe the Biathlon.

TMI Thursday

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY:

1. What do you think of Valentine’s Day?
I believe that there are two kinds of holidays: gift holidays and party holidays. Gift holidays are created or commandeered by marketers in order to manipulate consumers into buying products. Not surprisingly, I prefer the party holidays.
2. Are you romantic?
Romantic is a word that is used so often that it’s lost any clear meaning. One might expect the definition of romantic to simply be a list of things such as scented candles, rose petals, champagne, a fireplace, and some funky bucka chicka wow wow from the hi-fi. But it is not. In fact, the definition of romantic boils down to something like impractical idealism. So in that sense, no, I do not consider myself romantic.
3. Candy or Flowers?
Candy. What good are flowers? You look at them for a few days before they shrivel and have to be thrown away, and they generally aren’t very tasty.
4. What is Valentine’s Day like when you’re single?
On one hand, one doesn’t suffer the obligation of paying tribute to one’s sweetheart, but on the other hand, one is constantly reminded of the lack of the sweetheart to pay tribute to. I’d call it a wash.
5. What do you plan on doing this Valentine’s Day?
I shall do my part to deflate the Valentine’s Day juggernaut by not buying any gifts, nor patronizing any restaurants or amusement parks. Call it Buy Nothing Day, Part Two.
6. Your relationship is ending, do you break up before or after?
Before would be better. That way he could at least return any expensive gifts he’d been planning on giving. I’d expect the same courtesy.
7. What was your WORST Valentine’s Day?
I’d just transferred into a new elementary school. The teacher had the idea that I should deliver the valentines to learn the other students’ names. Sure, it sounds like a sensible plan, but I apparently got a lot of students mixed up, and of course, little children are not tactful when giving criticism.
8. What was your BEST Valentine’s Day?
I was going to list this as WORST, but after thinking on it, it actually was a good day. A while back, I was talked into going on a zombie walk. My pack of zombies and I had a bit of trouble finding the route, and ended up wandering through downtown far from the main zombie horde. We never found the main horde, and instead ended up attending a concert and eating late-night waffles while still coated in gray grease paint and fake blood.
BONUS
Do you expect to have sex because it’s Valentine’s Day?
Not unless I’ve also been treated to expensive gifts and a fancy dinner, and then find myself surrounded by scented candles, rose petals, champagne, a fireplace, and some funky bucka chicka wow wow from the hi-fi.

Year in First Lines

The “Year in First Lines” meme comes to me via Cygnoir, another Holidailies participant.

Apparently, all one is to do is repeat the first line of the first post of the listed month.

January
Even though it’s now the second of January, and I am therefore a little bit late to the party, I’d like to take a moment to talk about New Year’s Resolutions.

January was a quiet month, probably because I was unemployed. As the holidays were over, I began to fling my résumé into the digital void with new vigor. The winter is the worst time to look for any kind of work (except for retail, and I wasn’t about to do that.) I also resolved to learn the C# language by translating examples from the 1979 classic, More BASIC Computer Games.

February
Has anything thrilling happened since Hourly Comic Day?

Oh, yes. I was still doing Illustration Friday, because I had the time to spend on such things. Time to spend on decorating, house cleaning, grocery shopping in the afternoon. Being a house husband was fun while it lasted.

March
I find myself in an uncomfortably familiar situation.

They say that agreeing with the statement “I want to sleep forever,” is a sign of depression. It may also be a sign of having to get up too early when one isn’t used to it. And if one still stays up as late as one is used to, and one also puts in 100% effort all day just to demonstrate to his new employers that they made the right choice, and if Daylight Saving Time kicks in, then the sentiment is excusable.

April
One bit of advice that career counselors like to give is “do what you love.”

Although I am not quite as frustrated now as I was then, I stand by my metaphor of pipes and sewage for a network of computers.

May
Erik R. has called my attention to the “Pic a Day in May” challenge, so I figured I’d give it a shot, too.

During May, I accepted a challenge to post a new photo every day. I had great fun with this, and learned some new things about the buildings and landmarks that I see every day.

June
So, the Supreme Court finally decided the DOMA and Prop 8 cases.

In June, the fair came to town, and I had any-time passes. Of course the usual novelty food vendors were there, but this year’s offering wasn’t as memorable as years past. I did enjoy an exhibit of Star Trek props and costumes, and, best of all, a performance by Weird Al.

As for the Supreme Court decision, I continue to wait for a proposal.

July
So, the feedpocalypse came and went.

San Diego has its Pride festival in July, so that was pretty much the highlight of the month. (Though I also saw Nobuo Uematsu at the Summer Pops.) Now, San Diego Comic-Con is usually the week before or after, and many people go to both, but it’s such a hassle to get tickets that I didn’t bother. Maybe I’ll try again in 2014, if they haven’t sold out already.

August
Happy Blogaversary.

By August, I’d been pretty well ensnared in the sticky tentacles of the Big Project. At the time, it didn’t look so big, or even sticky, and certainly not in the least bit tentacular.

September
The autumnal equinox has passed, and so fall officially has begun.

September was highly unremarkable. The highlight of the month was almost certainly the weekly game night. Yes, that’s more like four highlights, but whatever.

October
In about a month, we’ll see this…

For a birthday treat, I arranged a trip to Disneyland to coincide with Gay Days. I even stayed in the Grand Californian, something I’d always wanted to do.

November
I’ve been using an Android app called SleepBot to track my sleep patterns for a while now.

Another boring month. At least there was Thanksgiving to break the monotony. A chilling thought now occurs to me: there may still be leftovers lurking in the back of the fridge.

December
It is now December already, and time for the nation to snuggle comfortably into the iron grasp of Christmas Mania.

And that brings us up to the present.

Call Me, Call Me Not

Some people have a love-hate relationship with the telephone. I think I have a hate-hate relationship with it. Back in its earliest incarnation, its harsh, jangling metal bells could ring at any time, and good manners demanded it be answered at once. Good manners further demanded a polite greeting and at least a minute of small talk before the calling party could get around to the reason for interrupting one’s nap, meal, or television program.

When I joined the workforce, the telephone became even more of a nemesis. Then the majority of callers became unhappy people who wanted things, a pattern which remains to this day. But, I suppose this is true for everyone, and the telephone is a necessary evil.

Speaking of evil and phones, last week’s TMI Tuesday [NSFW] asked several questions about one’s relationship to one’s mobile phone.

Animated Cell Phone GIFAnimated Cell Phone GIFAnimated Cell Phone GIF
CALL ME
1. Do you still have a land line?
Nope. Last time I moved, I realized I no longer had use for one.
2. Which cell phone do you use and why?
I use an iPhone issued by the IT department. Because I have to be reachable at all times in case of exploding toilets.
3. Which provider do you use? Is there really a difference?
AT&T. I suspect the real difference among providers is only which phones they agree to sell in their mall kiosks.
4. If you call someone and they don’t pick up, do you leave a message?
If it’s important enough for me to call, it’s important enough for me to leave a message.
5. When you have a missed call (with no message), do you call the person back?
No, it must not have been that important.
6. Do you text willingly or reluctantly? How are your skills?
Very willingly. But what skills need one have to text anymore? I suppose one needs only to spell well enough to avoid autocorrect embarrassments.
7. Has your cell replaced your camera?
No. But I won’t drag my expensive and fragile camera around with me “just in case,” which I think is what the question is getting at.
8. Selfies…
I hate that word.
9. How many apps do you have? Which is your favorite and why?
None on the iPhone. My tablet is a different story. I have Instagram, Netflix, Stitcher, Pandora, Tiny Tiny RSS, WordPress, SleepBot, some games, but not many. Oh, and that’s why I haven’t posted much on Instagram lately— the app is installed only on the big giant tablet that stays at home.
10. What would life be like with no cell/smart phone for one month?
Peaceful is the first word that comes to mind. Then again, life before mobile was an organizational nightmare: memorizing (or writing down down) phone numbers, leaving messages with people who may or may not deliver them, arranging times and places to meet in advance, having to physically search for lost members of one’s party, hunting for working pay phones, etc.
BONUS: How much has your cell phone become a part of your sex life? Sexting, hookup apps, selfies, video, GPS, more?
Not a part. I’ve taken hardly a handful of G-rated photos of myself, let alone anything scandalous. I have wondered about the “hookup apps,” but I’ve been told they are for the express use of those looking for a hook up. (Any time-wasters just “looking for friends,” need not apply.) Most importantly, I’d almost certainly find myself in the doghouse if a particular individual were to find such an app in my possession!

TMI Thursday

This would normally be the place where I’d tell all about how I got so involved with the teachings of Ayn Rand that I could hardly function as a human being— and then my friends gave me a surprise hot-tub party. Unfortunately, I just can’t think of a great excuse like that at the moment. I suppose I’ll just skip the intro and go straight into explaining that the following is a TMI Tuesday which I, in a brazen display of utter disregard for propriety, have just performed on a Thursday. You may now emit shocked gasps and fan yourselves vigorously.

1. Which religion or faith do you belong to, if any?
I’m pretty much a None Of The Above. True story, I once took a semi-serious online questionnaire designed to match one’s beliefs with a compatible organized religion. It told me I’d be most compatible with: Secular Humanism, Unitarian Universalism, and a form of Buddhism.
2. What is your opinion of Merry Christmas vs. Happy Holidays?
I say Happy Holidays for two reasons. One, I can’t simply assume that you’re going to celebrate Christmas. Two, there are other holidays this time of year. New Year’s Eve, for one.
3. Holiday music on the radio? When and how much?
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I’d like to seal all those worn out old tunes in a time capsule and give them a rest for at least a decade or two.
4. When do you start decorating? Do you?
I’m not the type to throw up lights as soon as the turkey’s cleared the table. That’s too early, I think. I may put some lights up this weekend.
5. White lights or multi-colored?
Multi-colored lights tend to give off a random, thrown-together look.
6. Gift cards, cash, or actually shopped-for presents?
Sure. I’m not picky.
7. Christmas cards and/or family update letters are…
Well, it’s the thought that counts.
8. Snow is…
Important.
9. Have you been a good little boy or girl this year?
Yes. Mostly. I mean, there were those parking tickets.
10. RAPID FIRE FAVORITES:
1. Food – Yes.
2. Dessert – Double yes.
3. Drink – Triple yes.
4. Holiday movie – Gremlins
5. Holiday music – See #3.
6. Holiday tradition – Eating and drinking.

Oh, Blogger

As yesterday’s Holidailies prompt was “Introduce yourself,” I’ll do so by way of Spo’s Blogger Meme.

What you like most about being a blogger?
Having an audience? Actually, more than that, getting a comment once in a while. Which reminds me, I really ought to return the favor more often.
How many bloggers have you met?
I’ve met many people who have blogs. For example, I’ve met at least a few dozen professional writers, many of which undoubtedly maintain their own blogs.
But… I suspect that what the good doctor is really asking is how many people have I met in person that I previously only knew through blogging. And: none.
Do you ever go back and read your old entries?
Occasionally. I used to revisit old entries quite often to make sure I wasn’t about to repeat myself. The reality is that nobody’s going to go through my entire archive and memorize everything, not even me. I’m not about to go and recycle old posts, though. That still strikes me as cheating.
Do you share your job skills here?
I tried that, posting technological tips in the spirit of saving others the time it took me to figure them out. Didn’t seem like anyone was interested. Or maybe it was just that my Page Rank was so low that nobody who needed the info ever found it. Anyway, that’s the sort of thing that belongs on a professional portfolio site. The kind of site you want prospective employers to find.
Have you changed your views about anything thanks to blogging?
I don’t know about changing existing views, but it’s very interesting to see the spectrum of opinions that people have of current events and pop culture.
Do your coworkers know about your blog?
I highly doubt it, not that they’d find much of interest.
What advice would you give for successful blogging?
Dude. You are asking me? And what defines success, anyway? Longevity? Followers? Monetization? Publishing deals?
What is your opinion of aardvarks?
They are less creepy than anteaters.
Do you publish everything you write ?
Oh, my, no. Often, instead of clicking the Publish button, I somehow instead click on Oh God Why Bother.
If you could make ‘three rules’ for blogging, what would they be?
I. Thou shalt not use bright green or white textagainst a dark background. Honor the retinas of thy visitors.
II. Thou shalt not clutter thy site with slow loading widgets. Let widgets that causeth the page to reflow be cast out.
III. Thou shalt not pester Me to sign up for thy newsletter, or click thy affiliates, or share thy content. Thou may ask politely from time to time, but pester Me not.
Unless thou knowest exactly what thou art doing. Then goest thou for it.
Do people help you write your blog?
Yes, those generous propagators of memes and hosts of challenges.
Who are your blogger super-heroes?
Translation: Pimp out some links.
Well, there’s Erik and Stevie and, honestly, that whole blogroll to the right there.
And an obligatory hat tip to this meme’s progenitor, Spo.
Oh, and it’s a podcast, but I enjoy Game Night Guys.
Final question (if you dare!) :
Have you slept with any of your fellow bloggers?
Let me think about that… Hey! Wait a minute, was this meme nothing but a thinly disguised attempt at seduction? *tsk tsk*

Sleep Meme

I find myself in an uncomfortably familiar situation. One in which I expend nearly all my mental capital during the day, returning home as in much the same state as I leave it. A semi-coherent zombie. I think a proper night’s rest daily could go a long way toward remedying that situation. But rather than sleeping, I, in my infinite wisdom, have decided to do Stevie B’s Sleep Meme instead.

I JUST WANNA GO TO SLEEP

1. What do you wear to bed?
I believe that there are benefits to the natural state. One’s skin should be allowed to breathe, and one’s toes or other extremities should not be continuously bundled up and mashed against one another.
2. Who or what sleeps with you at night?
Fidgets, farts, and other strange noises.
3. Do you like a cold room or a hot room?
I find it easier to deal with a cold room than a hot one. Summer heat is bad enough, but at least then one can just open the window and discard everything but a sheet. There is something especially suffocating about artificially hot rooms.
4. Many blankets, or just one?
Several blankets both give a comforting weight and allow the bedding to be adapted to the weather.
5. Do you hog the blankets?
Yes, I do.
6. What size is your bed and what kind of mattress is it?
It is a memory foam mattress. I bet it wishes it was an amnesia foam mattress.
7. Do you eat in bed?
No, I am a firm believer in confining food to the kitchen.
8. What kind of sleeper are you?
A fidgety sleeper who makes strange noises, apparently.
9. What is under your bed?
A closed timelike curve of non-Euclidean geometry.
BONUS: What won’t you do in bed?
Spend enough time there.

TMI Thursday

Lest I allow this poor blog to fall into yet another season of languishment, I am jumping onto this week’s TMI Thursday bandwagon. Fortunately, this week’s questions aren’t quite enough to blush me into silence.

YOU HAIRY BEAST

1. Just how hairy are you? Do you desire more or less and where?
Average. I’m no wolfman. Do I desire more? Yes… I admit it, I have some patchy spots that would look better if they could somehow be evened out. No male-pattern baldness spots, yet, fortunately. If that happens, it’s shaver time.
2. Your friend post’s a pic of you when you were 25, what year is it and what does your hair look like?
It’s like 1999, and my hair probably looks completely unremarkable. If the photo were from a few years earlier, I’d probably have had a very silly Nineties haircut. It might even have been a peculiar color. And this supposed friend who supposedly posted the supposed photo? Yeah… we’d have words.
3. What do you have to do and how long does it take you to make your hair look the way it does?
As little as possible to avoid The Neglected Look. So: 3-in-1 shampoo, a comb, and a blob of hair gel.
4. What was the most you ever paid for a haircut?
Was it $18? It must have been $18. I am certain that I’ve never had a haircut that cost over $20. I’m not saying that paying dozens of dollars for a haircut is always a foolish thing, but I have no need for that level of hairdressery.
5. Do you manscape?
Not so as anyone would notice.
6. Men with beards are?
Manly!
7. What hair on a man affects your libido most?
I think a good haircut is the most important in getting my attention. I think we’ve all known someone who’s gone up a few points toward ten just on a new haircut. After that, well groomed facial hair also helps, but like the haircut, it has to actually fit the individual. Like the guy with the new haircut, we’ve probably all known someone who’s given up an poorly executed beard or moustache for a more flattering one.