Once I saw the Magic 8 Ball iPod Meme, I just had to play along.

Instructions:

1. Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle.
   Check.
2. Say the following questions aloud, and press play.
   Say them all at once, apparently.
   
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question. NO CHEATING.
   Would I do that? Don't answer.
4. Do NOT shake iPod and look at the other side, it won't give you the answers!
   Maybe it will if I shake it hard enough! Mua ha ha ha!
   

How does the world see you?

U2, "Acrobat"
"You can dream, so dream out loud."

Will I have a happy life?

AYATE, "Flute"
Pleasant, but boring, and sort of Christmasy

What do my friends really think of me?

Roni Size, "It's Jazzy"
That I'll come up with something monotonous but loudly insist it's jazzy.

What do people secretly think of me?

Rush, "Limelight"
"All the worlds indeed a stage // And we are merely players // Performers and portrayers // Each another's audience // Outside the gilded cage"

How can I be happy?

The Who, "Eyesight to the Blind"
Apparently by having miraculous carnal knowledge.

What should I do with my life?

Talking Heads, "Burning Down The House"

If by "house," you mean "establishment," then sure.

Will I ever have children?

Divine, "Shoot Your Shot"
Umm, yah. No comment.

What is some good advice for me?

Talk Show, "John"
"I sit at home cause I'm able... I live out life but complain in the same old way..."

How will I be remembered?

The Ventures, "Hawaii Five-O"
First cool, then dated and cheesy in a bad way, then retro and cheesy in a fun way.

What is my signature dancing song?

Deep Forest, "Cafe Europa"
Not sure what a dance to this would even look like.

What do I think my current theme song is?

Rush, "Driven"
"But it's my turn to drive."

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?

Philip Glass & Robert Wilson, "Scene B"
Why do I have to have an opera theme song?

What song will play at my funeral?

Jonathan Fraser, "Prince Ali (Reprise)"
"Whoopee! So long, ex-Prince Ali!"

What type of men do you like?

Shirley Walker, "Phantasm and Joker Fight"
The kind that aren't afraid to wear costumes in public.

What is my day going to be like?

K!sdra, "Isabel J."

The pace will get faster and faster but will end well. Also, I will repeatedly insist that something is impervious to all poisons.