Dear Readers,

I'm at last packing my bags and taking off for a few days. To relax and sip mai-tais on a tropical shore fine wines at exclusive wineries cold beer on a fishing boat in the company of friends.

The guest author I was going to treat you to sort of exploded— bad capacitors, I assume— so instead you'll have to amuse yourselves with Twitter updates, should you find such things amusing:

Electronic Love,

The Electronic Replicant

Greetings, Readers!

Looks like I'm back. Even though it was really only an extended weekend getaway, and in the end, I didn't really get away, I still had a wonderful time, thank you.

On Friday, we arrived in San Francisco. I usually fly to Oakland, but this time, we went to San Francisco International. An interesting thing about this airport is that it has a computerized tram that passengers can ride from one terminal to the next, to the BART station, and to the car rental building. We were given a giant SUV, since the midsized cars were apparently all checked out and the rental desk was understaffed.

We then began the long drive to wine country, which remained much as I remembered it. After checking in at the dumpy motel, we met up with some friends. The gathering soon became a Rock Band party.

I learned that playing the drums is "freaking impossible" while playing the bass is "indeed quite challenging." I also learned that there is no song that I cannot murder, although by the end of the night, I was able to get a 91% rating on a Radiohead song.

On Saturday, I discovered that I was in the presence of a fellow Flickr member, and so we engaged in the sacred ritual of the photowalk. Fortunately, there was a small street fair of some kind up the street. While we snapped photos of scooters and musicians, the non-photography-geeks sat, listened to music, and discussed MMORPGs.

After a while, we all piled into the SUV and drove to Oakland for the Dream Theater show. I'd never been to the Paramount Theater in Oakland before, but it was quite a treat. Delightful Art Deco decoration was everywhere, although I was unsure as to how much of it was actually original. The show itself was, well, mostly it was loud. Which was to be expected, of course. What I did not expect was that the opening acts were mostly all death metal. The musicianship of the groups was great, but lyrics delivered in a drawn-out belching sound just doesn't do it for me. I suppose that's an odd thing for me to say, since I usually manage not to understand traditionally delivered lyrics. Or maybe it's not an odd thing to say, since because of that, I tend to consider the vocals as just another instrument. So maybe it's the same as preferring fiddles to bagpipes.

Anyway, by the time the main act (which was all I had expected) had finished, we were all quite restless, as it had been a long concert. We finished the evening at a Lyon's restaurant, where we discovered that if one has no better excuse, telling someone the time in an incredulous tone often works just as well.

On Sunday, we drove out to Cafe Citti in Kenwood, which is worth a try, if you're in the neighborhood. I usually order the special and have rarely been disappointed. However, the ravioli is also very good, and friends swear by the fusilli and AOP (garlic, olive oil, and pancetta.) Afterward, we saw Iron Man. I was thoroughly entertained and felt that it was a decent adaptation of the comic book. Now, when I saw X-Men, I left the theater feeling as though I'd really seen the real X-Men. I didn't quite have that feeling leaving the theater after Iron Man, but I did leave with satisfaction and excitement, especially after waiting through the credits for the easter egg.

I believe that the rest of the evening was spent playing Mario Kart Wii and watching Superbad. Although this wasn't the sort of movie I'd choose on my own, it did have some amusing moments.

On Monday, we took a scenic drive through Sebastopol, Bodega, Jenner and Guerneville. The Northern California coast is beautiful and dramatic, though the waters are cold and often full of dangerous currents and jagged rocks. And although the weather is often (as it was Monday) what most people would classify as "gloomy," it brings fond memories to mind of the town further up the coast where I lived as a boy. As did the redwood grove we visited later that day. Not so much the burger stand we visited after that, fortunately. The evening was filled with more Mario Kart and a showing of Planet Terror.

On Tuesday, we bid farewell to the dumpy motel and drove back to San Francisco. There, we took a cruise out to Alcatraz Island, which was surprisingly beautiful. Much of the island was closed off due to nesting sea birds (the parade ground) or to the danger posed by the age of the crumbling structures (the factory buildings). So we went on the audio tour of the prison, walked around the lighthouse and exercise yard, and then bid farewell to Alcatraz.

Then, we did a very touristy move and ate dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe at Fisherman's Wharf, before returning the rental car and flying home. And that was that. I was a little bummed that I didn't get to go to Maker Faire or back to the Computer History Museum... but there's always next time.

Though I risk of sounding like the Biggest Geek In The World, I hereby present a D&D flavored Link-o-Rama.

First is the list of Worst D&D Monsters of All Time. Oddly enough, or perhaps not so oddly, I was familiar with most of them (Gas Spore, check. Flumph, check. Stench Kow, check) but I had never before heard of the Worst Monster Of All Time, which had me literally howling in my chair.

Next is The DM Of The Rings, a photocomic that tells the story of Lord of the Rings as though it were a D&D campaign. While not exactly new, it's still quite amusing, telling the tale of a story-bound DM and the player characters unlucky enough to be railroaded though his elaborate campaign setting.

I believe I've saved the best for last. Inspired by the previous comic, Darths and Droids tells the story of The Phantom Menace in the form of an RPG. This comic is just brilliant, and I was compelled to read it start to finish in one sitting. Unlike the characters in the previous comic, the ones in this strip seem to actually be having fun, and loads of it.

Anyone up for a game night? I think I still have all my old books in a box somewhere— no? Sigh...

Oh my, it looks like the Layout Fairy's been here and made everything earth-toned and easy(er) on the eyes. Hooray for the Layout Fairy!

Well, I wish there'd been a magical fairy involved. Most of you will probably agree that it's harder to design something for yourself than for anybody else. You're your own worst critic. So, here's a crazy idea. Why not have something like Trading Spaces for blogs? If you want a new design, first volunteer to create one for somebody else. In turn, somebody else will volunteer to design a new design for you, based on your general ideas and/or the impressions they get from browsing your existing blog. You'll get to exercise your creativity and you'll also get a brand new design without all the hemming and hawing over colors, sizes, and logos.

Or is that not crazy enough to work? Maybe it could also involve rabid badgers somehow!

Anyway, on to the real subject of this post: the Wii. For me, the Wii has been something of a miracle mixed with disappointment. I suspect this feeling may have something to do with the games I've been playing, which I'll briefly review.

Wii Sports

A good introduction to the potential of the Wii's motion-sensitive controllers. Like the Queen Herself, I enjoyed (read: did well in) the bowling game. I did less well in, yet still enjoyed, golf and tennis. This probably had something to do with the fact that I was playing the game with/against another player in the same room. I doubt I'd play any of these games on my own.

MarioKart Wii

Obviously, this is a racing game in which you play various characters from the Marioverse. Special powerups scattered around the tracks allow you to get the advantage over other racers (and vice-versa.) Some extremely tricky tracks will challenge even the most non-computer racers. The game comes with a gimmick steering wheel that the Wii controller snaps into (not necessary.) This is yet another game that I doubt I'd play on my own, but it would be one of the first that I'd bring out at a party.

Super Mario Galaxy

Now we're getting somewhere. I really enjoy how this game plays with space. You can walk around on the outside of a planet, then climb down a green tube and walk around on the inside. Some of the earlier levels led me to believe that the rest of the game would be done in the signature cutesy style one would expect from a Mario title. However, two later levels, Battle Rock and the Space Junk Field, were fairly impressive and had me wondering whether Mega Man would ever make a Wii appearance. Unfortunately, I seem to have reached the point in the game where the fun has run out and been replaced with frustration.

Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law

So, I thought, let's try a game that should require neither aim, nor sense of timing, nor pattern recognition skills. I'd hoped this would be a point-and-click adventure in the spirit of Sam And Max Hit The Road and Day of the Tentacle. Well... hmm... no. The best I can describe this is as an elaborate guessing game. Since it's based on a cartoon, the only successful choices may be ones made on spurious logic. For instance, which piece of evidence proves that Birdman's sidekick Peanut is lying? The keys to the safe, the death ray machine, or the lobster? In fact, the answer is apparently none of the above. It's also not the mask balm, the pile of money, a business card, or any other item in my inventory.

Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: My Life As A King

Next, I thought I'd try some of the downloadable content. This title jumped out at me, since I thought it would be something like Sim City meets Final Fantasy. In fact, it is, but what I find more interesting than that is how this game puts the player into the role of king, i.e., assigner of quests to adventurers. It turns out that the land surrounding your castle is filled with dungeons and monsters, most of which are sitting on top of resources you need in order to continue building your city. Since you're the super-important king, you can recruit adventurers from your population and send them into harm's way on your behalf. And unlike Sim City, there is in fact a story arc that unfolds during the course of a game.

Legend of Zelda: The Twilight Princess

Now for some real adventure! But first, let's run errands and do chores for two hours and thirty three minutes. Then your beloved peasant village can suffer its awful fate as portals to an evil dimension open across the land and... say, this sounds really similar to Elder Scrolls: Oblivion, doesn't it? Well, I can tell you the reason I stopped playing that game was mainly because after a while it seemed to be nothing but going into and out of portals, being eaten by wildlife, and being thrashed by bandits for the sake of ungrateful peasants. So let's hope that Twilight Princess stays close to its overland-and-level-based roots as a Zelda game and doesn't stray too far into free-form adventure territory.

Now: In The Blink Of An Eye: How Vision Sparked The Big Bang of Evolution

Just Finished: Shiny Adidas Tracksuits And The Death Of Camp

This book was a collection of articles from a magazine published back in the Nineties. As such, it was kind of an interesting time capsule. I can't really say that anything in this book really spoke up and made me say wow, but for the most part it was an okay read. That's the great thing about collections: at least the collected works are short and discrete.

I originally ordered this book from paperbackswap.com since their system recommended one of the authors, Dave Eggers, based on some of my past orders. I can't say I really even remember what his article was about (I do now, since I just looked) nor whether I was remarkably impressed by it (meh.) Of course, the quality of an article that one squeezes out for a few bucks on the side may vary substantially from one's Labour of Art, so I probably shouldn't judge him based on this sample alone.

In related news, I signed up for LibraryThing the other day. My bookshelf at BookCrossing.com isn't really representative of the sort of thing I like to read, since it includes a lot of books that I wouldn't normally have read, but that passed through my possession for some reason or other. It also includes a lot of books that I obtained in trades and whatnot that I thought I'd probably read at some point, but that also remain unread and continue to glare accusingly at me from their shelves. Likewise, my bookshelf at paperbackswap.com is fairly volatile and consists mostly of books that I don't want anymore.

What I wanted was a way to list the books on my "permanent" shelf and also a way to link to whatever I'm "Now Reading"... and LibraryThing fit the criteria almost perfectly. It also has a few fun toys like the Suggester (I should read Neal Stephenson) and the Unsuggester (I should not read the Shopaholic series.) Anyway, if you'd care to browse my library, here it is.

And now for something completely slightly that is certain to be, in some quantifiable way, different.

And now for something completely slightly that is certain to be, in some quantifiable way, different crazy that doesn't involve robots.

Instead, it involves something from the age of silly and dangerous toys called the Swing Wing. As you might guess, it's a hat. With a swinging weight on top. Which you swing around by shaking your head. What could possibly go wrong with that?

Don't answer that.

Instead, just consider what a difference having the right soundtrack makes.