Yes, indeedy, the Electronic Replicant is moving to its own domain, www.electronic-replicant.com. See you there!

Here's a little game I found somewhere or other. If you load your music player with your entire collection, then set it for random play, it will somehow predict the soundtrack for an imaginary upcoming film about your life. Well, it couldn't possibly work, so to totally disprove that theory, I went ahead and tried it myself.

Opening Credits: John Williams, "Star Wars Main Theme". No need to describe this one, is there? My, aren't we starting out with high hopes!

Waking Up: Toshihiko Sahashi, "Token". This is from The Big O Series II. It sounds very, very familiar, as though it were the opening theme from an Eighties action show. Imagine the theme from Remington Steele played a lot faster by a full brass section, and you won't be too far off.

First Day of School: John Williams, "Return of the Jedi - Parade of the Ewoks". Aww, look at the cute little kindergarteners as they learn to march in single-file lines!

Falling in Love: School of Fish, "Talk Like Strangers." If nothing else, it's appropriate to the era. Here are some lyrics. "I can't help but feel a little ill, when I think of you with somebody else... You don't find a little time to call.. Don't be surprised if when you do, we talk like strangers." Oh, no, I'm not a stalker.

First Song: Alice in Chains, "Sunshine." Hmm, it's got the band's typical downer sound, and what is it even about? I don't think it's appropriate, but what do I know?

Breaking Up: They Might Be Giants, "Dinner Bell." The typical whimsy of TMBG would set the perfect counterpoint to the dropping of the bomb on the hero. Afterward, the bizarreness of the lyrics could be focused on during a brief reaction shot, the better to illustrate the hero's state of mind as his world crumbles.

Prom: Reflexible, "Martin Kennedy's Moon Expedition." This sort of music makes me think of wandering a rainy city at night. I guess it might be appropriate after all. Anyway, there's a sampled speech in the middle that goes like this, "What we need in the United States is not hatred, what we need in the United States is not violence and lawlessness, but is love, and wisdom, and compassion toward one another, and a feeling of justice to those who still suffer in our country."

Driving: Toshihiko Sahasi, "Painful Dream - Spring St." Again with the Big O II. I do have other albums, really. Think maybe of "Beautiful Dreamer" plucked very slowly and sadly on an acoustic guitar, occasionally accompanied by melodramtic piano chords.

Flashback: Wiseguys, "Start the Commotion." Hm. I always thought this one sounded a bit like a cola commercial. Funny that the happiest-sounding song in the lot is the flashback.

Starting a New Relationship: Pearl Jam, "Porch." This is acceptable because of the chorus: "Hear my name. Take a good look, this could be the day!"

Wedding: 3 Dark Hours, "Exodus - Passover" This is something that iRate downloaded once and Amarok happened to find in my home directory. It's kind of ominous, actually, and rather reminds me of Tangerine Dream, maybe something from Firestarter.

Birth of Child: Helmet, "Gigantor." My child's a giant robot? Whoohoo! "Gigantor! Gigantor! Gigantor, the space-age robot! His power's at your command! Gigantor, the space-age robot! His power's in your hand! He's bigger than big, he's stronger than strong! He's ready to fight for right... against wrong!"

Final Battle: They Might Be Giants, "James K. Polk." It's a song about the election of 1846. "In four short years, he met his every goal... having accomplished this he sought no second term." Hey, if my final battle is to be President, and the rest is a picnic, well, I can think of worse fates.

Death Scene: Kula Shaker, "Start All Over." Yeah, it's actually a break-up song, but I think it's oddly appropriate to a death scene, too. "Oh, my love, I wish that we could start all over. I'm so gone... Cause I know it was real, no-one else could understand. Take me back. Make me feel. Make me real. I'm so gone... I feel like I'm halfway there..."

Funeral Song: Eurythmics, "Angel." No, not "There Must Be An Angel." This is a very funerary song. And they consider it an oldie? Crikey.

End Credits: They Might Be Giants, "Fingertips." This song is maybe ten seconds long. It goes like so: "I hear the wind blow. I hear the wind blow. It seems to say, 'Hello, hello, I'm the one who loves you so.'"

Okay... so with a few exceptions, it did seem to work... this time.

I considered the title "Friday Furries" but thought it would send the wrong message.

1. Are you a cat person or a dog person?

Are you asking if I am friendly, gregarious, and loyal, or am I aloof, independent, and fickle? Well, you should know by now that the answer to that is found more toward the latter than the former. This is not to say that I don't demonstrate the former qualities, just that I may first need to be coaxed down from the bookshelf with a saucer of milk and a few sweet words.

2. Do you have pets? If so, what are they?

I have fish. They don't bark or claw the furniture, and won't go far if they get loose.

3. Are your pets animals or a part of the family?

Although they technically are animals, I feel about as much emotional attachment to them as I would to a house plant: something that needs a few daily moments of care and is nice to look at now and then.

4. If you could have any wild animal as a pet,… and it would be safe and possible, what would it be and why?

Here's where I'm supposed to say, "Oh, I'd have a tiger. No, an elephant!" and then explain how I feel really attuned to the spirit of the tiger and how an elephant would impress the hell out of my friends. And it probably would up until it stomped on them.
No, I'd ask for some sort of beautiful sea creature, one that glimmers wih the same dazzling electric blue that first enthralled me with the world of tropical fish. Something like this...

The Candy Blog reports that the FDA is considering redefining chocolate. Currently, in the US, a product can be labeled as chocolate only if it contains cocoa butter, cocoa, sugar, etc. The new definiton would allow candy makers to substitute the cocoa butter with other vegetable oils and pass the resulting concoction off as real chocolate. I don't like fake chocolate, and I especially dislike it wrapped around fake ice cream. Ugh.

But if there's no longer any legal difference between fake (or "compound") chocolate and the genuine article, then there's also no reason to manufacture anything but the far cheaper compound chocolate. Especially when the stupid-sounding code word "chocolatey" can be quite legally replaced with the phrase "real chocolate." Heck, some folks might even see the new packaging and be tempted to pay just a little more for the same product as ever.

Consumers to FDA: Don't mess with our chocolate.

Feast of Souls

Dear Blog,

Has it really been over a week since we last talked? How could I have let this happen? I hope you can find it in your bloggy heart to forgive me. I promise to try harder to keep in touch with you, Blog. In fact, I have a little surprise planned for you, something I think you'll like. I won't be telling you what it is just yet, dear Blog, so you'll need to be patient just a little bit longer.

Best Wishes,

E.R.I.K.

Today's post takes the form of the "Five Question Meme" as seen at Center of Gravitas. GayProf answered five questions posed to him by another blog author. He likewise offered to ask five questions to others who wanted. I will do the same, if you would like me to ask YOU five questions.

1. How old were you when you learned the truth about sex? Who delivered this information?

When I was eight, I checked a book out of the local library. It was called "The Science Book," and I chose it because gosh darn it, I liked science. It turned out to be kind of an odd book. I only remember two things about it, really. One was a recipe that didn't specify any ingredients, just that the reader use fresh ingredients and clean utensils, with the end result being "you should feel contentedly full." The other thing I remember was a rather unexpected and intimately detailed description of intercourse, with oddly spiritual passages such as, "at this moment, it feels as though the two bodies have joined into one."

2. What has been the worst experience in dating? Why so? Feel free to use real names.

To me, "dating" denotes that span of time between being strangers and being in a relationship. I'd say the worst experience of the latter was quite likely my being the recipient of the old "I can't see you any more because I don't have time" excuse. As to the former, I vaguely remember throwing up in somebody's car.

3. What was the last bit of history that you have read?

That would be "The Origins of Tymnet." Now, for anybody else who may be interested in computing history, I heartily recommend Hackers, by Steven Levy. I'd also like to read What The Dormouse Said, by John Markoff, but I haven't quite got a copy of that book yet.

4. If you had to leave your current location and mover somewhere else in the nation, where would it be and why?

I don't have a definite answer to this question. I do know that I'd prefer to move on, not back. Perhaps to move out of California entirely. I'd like it to be a metropolitan area, one with a good mass transit system, with shops and venues within walking distance. I'm tired of having to drive everywhere to do anything. And I'd like the people to be friendly, not aloof. But they shouldn't be so friendly that I'm routinely taken aside and told of pets, bunions, and tea in gruesome, intimate detail. There should be real seasons, and trees, and good food. Anyone know of a place like that?

5. Why do you worship and/or adore GayProf?

I guess he's just that adorable.

An Earthlike planet may have been located orbiting a red dwarf star in the constellation Libra. Bigger, stronger, and faster than Earth, the planet is thought to be one and one-half times the size of Earth, to have perhaps double the gravity, and to have a thirteen-day orbit around its star. Most importantly, the planet, Gliese 581 c, may also be hospitable to life, and perhaps not only of the extremophile variety.

What other forms might this life take? Humanoids with rippling foreheads? Little gray men? Almost certainly not. Fang-mouthed tentacle beasts? Bug-eyed monsters? Possibly. Something even more surprising and unexpected? Definitely. For a time, fungi ruled the Earth, and long before them, the stromatolites.

Then again, who says Gliese 581 c is habitable to us? It might well be tidally locked, just as is Mercury. Or rampant volcanism may have poisoned its atmosphere as happened on Venus. Or perhaps the solar wind will have blown away most of the atmosphere as may have happened on Mars.

But in the slim chance that Gliese 581 c is a living world, that's evolved intelligent beings, that have built a civilization, and discovered technology, why not point our SETI antennas in that direction and listen carefully. After all, our radio and television transmissions have had time to reach them. As preposterous as it sounds, tuning in to alien sitcoms could teach us almost as much about their world as visiting it.