Everything’s a Critic

I suspect that my home, the building, that is, is hostile to decorations. In the corner, above the fireplace, I long ago installed a shelf to act as a mantle and a place to display tchotchkes such as candles, photos, and souvenirs. Since I thought today would be a good day to get the place all tarted up for Christmas, I cleared the fake mantel off, and it was then that I noticed it was looking decidedly droopy.

I took the wooden part of the fake mantel off and discovered that the drywall anchors holding up the metal part were literally being squeezed out of the drywall. Well, the shelf isn’t quite heavy enough to do that on its own, so I can only assume the house itself is having some sort of immune response to the fake mantel. Or that section of drywall is especially flimsy. One of the two.

Furthermore, as I write this, one of the suction cups holding up a string of lights in a window has just popped off and gone flying across the room. So I can only assume that the house doesn’t care for LED Christmas lights, either. Or those suction cups suck, er, that is, they fail to suck. One of the two.

Once the house has been de-tarted for the new year, perhaps I’ll just put some photos on the wall instead of trying to replace the shelf. We’ll see if those end up on the floor, too.

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