Would you believe…

I’m sure you’re all wondering where I’ve been.

Perhaps I… stowed away on the Space Shuttle!

What do you mean it hasn’t landed yet? Er…

Okay, I’ve been working on a (dramatic pause) secret project! In a secret location alongside the nation’s top men.

Yeah… that’s it… I’ve been doing inventory in a creepy old warehouse. A creepy warehouse full of dangerous historical artifacts.

You… You say you’ve heard that one before?

Okay, fine, the Director of Operations locked me in the basement.

To do inventory.

And I had to pretend that I was on the Space Shuttle.

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