Choose Your Own Adventure

The TV Challenge Continues…

You get to create one show to put on the schedule, with any stars you choose. Who and what would it be?

There are a couple of shows I’d totally watch.

• A real Steampunk adventure. Not a show of some other genre with some steampunk-esque props sprinkled here and there, oh no. I want proto-zeppelins hovering majestically overhead, chittering clockwork automata, and smoke-belching analytical engines. I want gentlemen with adjustable monocles, mighty muttonchops, and brass-trimmed top hats; and ladies with welding torches and parasols. I want Firefly crossed with Brisco County Junior.

This episode brought to you by ACME

• If the Stargate franchise truly mimics Star Trek, its next series will obviously be a prequel. I might be interested if it were done right. For example, the hero might be an archaeologist inventor— basically Indiana Jones with his serial numbers filed off. He and his team are trying to figure out just what this big metal ring is, and all they have to go on are vague hieroglyphs on some ancient potsherds. The good news is that Dr. Not-Jones is a pretty smart guy, and he’s encountered alien tech before, though he doesn’t realize it. The Sankhara stones? Ancient batteries. The Holy Grail? Full of medical nanites. The Lost Ark? A computer with a very aggressive security protocol. And the Crystal Skull? Eventually discovered to be a slightly more friendly computer, one that possibly holds the secret to operating the gate. Of course, it’s been carved into the shape of a human skull, so it’s not quite as reliable of a computer as it used to be…

Time for the Vulcan Neck Pinch. Oh, wait. No neck.

• I’d totally watch a live action rip off of series inspired by Robotech / Macross / Exosquad / Martian Successor Nadesico. I’ve speculated that Stargate Universe was meant to be a Battlestar Galactica substitute, but it wasn’t accepted by the BSG fandom because it was missing a few crucial elements. Mainly, it was missing that bit about a battle-weary fleet trying to reach Earth despite an intractable alien foe, and also lots of space battles. This show would be even more awesome than BSG since it would also have transforming space mecha.

Rule of Cool triumphs over Practicality

As for who’d be cast? As long as they actually could act and maybe also had a little bit of looks and charisma, it doesn’t really matter.

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