I’m sure y’all are just… so… over this, and it’s just… so… Tuesday, but I just can’t resist. It’s the Stark Raving Mad Libs Generator:
I am on a drug. It’s called the Electronic Replicant. If you try it once, you will brawl. Your prosthetic forehead will melt off, and your Mum will pontificate over your flatulating body … I’m tired of pretending like I’m not Real America™—a total freaking evil overlord from Mongo. I’ve got weasel blood, Aphrodite DNA! … They picked a fight with a boogie man. They’re trying to take all my underpants and leave me with no means to mollycoddle my family. It’s not murderology! They owe me an apology while titillating my coccyx … I don’t think people are ready for the crabcakes I’m delivering, and delivering with a sense of creepy love. I exposed hoes to magic! Here’s your mucus test. Next one goes in your small intestine!
You know, it’s funny how we don’t have single words for certain concepts. For example, there’s the word “zombify” which means “to turn into a zombie,” but there’s no word for “turn into a werewolf.” What would that be? Lycanthrofy? Lupimorph? At the other end of the spectrum, what’s the word for “go catatonic?” Catatonate? Introplode? And, finally, is there even a word for “magical, gift-bearing creature” such as the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus?