More Pretentious Blogging

Hark and forsooth once again, Dear Readers, for the time draws nigh to continue the Pretentious Blogging Meme. Herein to follow shall be found Part One, Part Two being completed in the heretofore.

The Pretentious Blogging Meme, Part One

(Part Two of Which Most Certainly Has Been Previously Completed.)
1. How long have you been blogging?
As one can plainly see by examining the contents of the rightmost column (at the time of publication,) when the initial post to this humble blog was made. Converting from blog years to human years results in a figure of approximately three hundred thirty seven, with a margin of error of plus or minus six hundred seventy eight.
2. What made you start?
By Jupiter’s beard, how am I to remember such trifling details? I’m quite certain the goals involved scientific progress and the betterment of mankind. Yes, quite.
3. Who inspired you?
Why, I did. I invented inspiration. Now, if I could only solve a few details in the problem of manufacturing inspiration…
4. About how many hours a week would you estimate you spend on your blog?
Personally, very few. You see, I have people to handle that sort of thing, and, well, quite frankly, we’re in the midst of a minor labor dispute, one which we hope to resolve shortly, without the need for torches or pitchforks to be brandished by either side.
5. What kind of experience or background do you have with writing?
I’ve been writing for many, many years. Why, my first short story, “My Cat” was published by my own publishing house, using handmade materials and artisanal methods, and reached an audience of, er… four.
6. Talk about how you come up with blog topics. Where do you get your ideas?
I simply sit down at my computer, gaze into the screen, and wait for the ideas to flow. Occasionally, quite a bit of patience is required as apparently the ideas flow down a very long and convoluted series of tubes, so they take some time to arrive, and apparently many expire en route.
7. What or who inspires you and your blog?
The strange, the bizarre, and the unexpected. Also, the rude, and the inconsiderate.
8. Where and/or how do your brainstorming for your blog?
Must I repeat myself? Very well. I stare into the computer screen and wait…
9. Do you have any blogging rules or guidelines you follow?
Yes, and now you, too, can own a limited edition copy of “My Guidelines,” crafted from handmade materials and artisanally bound, signed by the author, and accompanied by a handsome Certificate of Authenticity. Order now, and we’ll include two keepsake bookmarks for free. But act quickly, supplies are limited and… in fact… we’re already sold out. Sorry.
10. Is there anything you will not blog about?
Certainly. But if I were to list them now, wouldn’t I really be blogging about them?
11. Do you have any sort of a publishing schedule in terms of day of week or topic?
One should consider it more as a guideline than a schedule. Desktop Friday on Friday, and then, if I feel like it, Sunday Stealing on Sunday. The rest of the week has no topical schedule, though I will entertain suggestions…
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