L-Less Story

The challenge has been put forth: Write a (very) short story without using the letter ‘L.’

. . .

Once upon a time, there was a naughty boy whose parents owned a timeshare condo in a dark scary forest. One day— a Tuesday, if you must know— the boy wandered farther into the woods than ever before. He became unsure of the route home. Worse, it began to rain. But then, he discovered a tiny cottage.

The door was open, so he stepped in. Within, the naughty boy found three chairs arranged around a hearth, upon which a warm fire burned. This might have worried any other person, but remember that this was a naughty boy. He sat in each chair, rejecting two for reasons unknown, before resting in the third for a short time.

In the kitchen, he found three cups of steaming hot porridge. Again, this might have have worried any other person, but remember, this was a naughty boy. He tasted each of the porridges, rejecting two for reasons unknown, before consuming the third in its entirety.

Now overcome with food coma, the naughty boy moved to the bedroom, where he found three tidy beds. Intending to nap in one of them, he considered but rejected two for reasons unknown. In the third bed was a rather surprised canine dressed as his grandmother.

“You’re not Red Riding Hood,” said the canine.

“I may be naughty, but this is absurd!” the boy said, and stomped out of the house.

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