Hark and forsooth once again, Dear Readers, for the time draws nigh to continue the Pretentious Blogging Meme. Herein to follow shall be found Part One, Part Two being completed in the heretofore.

The Pretentious Blogging Meme, Part One

(Part Two of Which Most Certainly Has Been Previously Completed.)
1. How long have you been blogging?
As one can plainly see by examining the contents of the rightmost column (at the time of publication,) when the initial post to this humble blog was made. Converting from blog years to human years results in a figure of approximately three hundred thirty seven, with a margin of error of plus or minus six hundred seventy eight.
2. What made you start?
By Jupiter’s beard, how am I to remember such trifling details? I’m quite certain the goals involved scientific progress and the betterment of mankind. Yes, quite.
3. Who inspired you?
Why, I did. I invented inspiration. Now, if I could only solve a few details in the problem of manufacturing inspiration…
4. About how many hours a week would you estimate you spend on your blog?
Personally, very few. You see, I have people to handle that sort of thing, and, well, quite frankly, we’re in the midst of a minor labor dispute, one which we hope to resolve shortly, without the need for torches or pitchforks to be brandished by either side.
5. What kind of experience or background do you have with writing?
I’ve been writing for many, many years. Why, my first short story, “My Cat” was published by my own publishing house, using handmade materials and artisanal methods, and reached an audience of, er… four.
6. Talk about how you come up with blog topics. Where do you get your ideas?
I simply sit down at my computer, gaze into the screen, and wait for the ideas to flow. Occasionally, quite a bit of patience is required as apparently the ideas flow down a very long and convoluted series of tubes, so they take some time to arrive, and apparently many expire en route.
7. What or who inspires you and your blog?
The strange, the bizarre, and the unexpected. Also, the rude, and the inconsiderate.
8. Where and/or how do your brainstorming for your blog?
Must I repeat myself? Very well. I stare into the computer screen and wait…
9. Do you have any blogging rules or guidelines you follow?
Yes, and now you, too, can own a limited edition copy of “My Guidelines,” crafted from handmade materials and artisanally bound, signed by the author, and accompanied by a handsome Certificate of Authenticity. Order now, and we’ll include two keepsake bookmarks for free. But act quickly, supplies are limited and… in fact… we’re already sold out. Sorry.
10. Is there anything you will not blog about?
Certainly. But if I were to list them now, wouldn’t I really be blogging about them?
11. Do you have any sort of a publishing schedule in terms of day of week or topic?
One should consider it more as a guideline than a schedule. Desktop Friday on Friday, and then, if I feel like it, Sunday Stealing on Sunday. The rest of the week has no topical schedule, though I will entertain suggestions…

I recently was offered “a box” of unwanted LEGO for the price of showing up to haul it away. I was expecting perhaps a large shoebox full. After the hauling was done, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that (once all the moldering, spider-infested cardboard boxes were disposed of) the entire haul filled a 14 gallon Rubbermaid container.

What I was unpleasantly surprised to discover was that the previous owner had played with the bricks in the mud. Many, if not a majority, of the bricks had dried mud, dead insects, or other organic debris jammed up inside. This raised the question of how best to wash all these nasty LEGO pieces. There were many suggestions and recommendations available over the Internet. What was I to do? Why, use science, of course.

Spray
My first experiment was to place the pieces into a strainer and simply spray with water until clean. This method would probably have worked better if my kitchen sink were equipped with one of those hand-held rinse nozzles. Otherwise, showering tapwater over nasty bricks does not appear to be very effective.
Wash and Rinse in Strainer
For this experiment, I placed a strainer full of dirty LEGO pieces into a bucket of warm soapy water. Agitate the pieces for a minute or two, then remove strainer and rinse under running water. This method is easy, but hardly effective against anything but the least tenacious of surface soil.
Soak and Rinse in Strainer
This is the same method as above, with an extended soaking period before agitation. It is hardly more effective than the Wash and Rinse.
Multiple Soaks with Agitation
One recommendation was to repeatedly soak all the pieces in warm water and dish detergent, stirring occasionally, and periodically rinsing the pieces and replacing the soak water until it remains clear after stirring. I found this to be only a little more effective than the single soak method listed above. There was still gunk inside the bricks.
Multiple Soaks in Laundry Detergent
Another popular recommendation was to place the dirty LEGO bricks into a pillowcase, close it securely, and throw the pillowcase into the washing machine. Since I must use a shared laundry, I didn’t think it a wise method, should the pillowcase somehow open during the wash cycle. However, it occurred to me that the laundry detergent itself might be the secret ingredient. So for my next experiment, I tried the multiple soak method with laundry detergent. Laundry detergent was hardly more effective than dish detergent, and left a whitish residue on some of the bricks.
Soak and Scrub with Kitchen Brush
After soaking the next batch of pieces in a bucket of warm water and dish detergent, I scrubbed each of them with a kitchen brush. The kitchen brush is partially effective as it will remove much of the gunk from LEGO plates, but not from the little pits inside the studs. The kitchen brush removed almost nothing from inside the bricks.
Soak and Scrub with Toothbrush
The results were much the same as with the kitchen brush, though the smaller size of the toothbrush made it easier to clean the smaller parts. This was another partially effective, if tedious, method, of cleaning plates and other small LEGO parts.
WaterPik
In this experiment, I used a WaterPik dental water jet loaded with plain warm water as the scrub/rinse stage. This was very effective, blasting the mud out of the bricks. It was also messy, with clouds of flying water droplets everywhere. However, placing the both the tip of the device and the dirty brick underwater minimized the water storm. The only problem with this method is that the model of WaterPik I used was loud and only held enough water to clean a few bricks at a time.
Ultrasonic Cleaner
In this experiment, I used a 2.5 liter ultrasonic cleaning machine. I’m not sure how much of the cleaning observed was due to the ultrasound and how much was due to the heated soak feature. The machine did not remove all of the mud from inside the bricks. Perhaps using the proper cleaning solution would have helped.
Damp Washcloth
The most obvious method. It worked well enough to clean the outsides of bricks, but could not clean the inside of most of them. I thought this method was best suited for careful cleaning of pieces bearing stickers.

I also heard that the dishwasher could be used to clean a pillowcase full of LEGO pieces just like a washing machine could. I didn’t try this method, as I doubted that the water spray would be very effective through a pillowcase, and I heard that high temperatures could warp the bricks, and I also didn’t want to have to explain how I broke the dishwasher if the pillowcase were to open during the wash cycle.

My conclusion is that the most effective method for cleaning very dirty LEGO plates is a warm water soak with dish detergent, followed by a scrub with a kitchen brush or toothbrush. For cleaning very dirty LEGO bricks, I recommend the same detergent soak, followed by WaterPik cleaning of the inside.

What’s on your desktop this week? I’ve got insane architecture.

insane architecture

This was taken by a friend of mine, who says, “The sci fi/music museum in Seattle is the most incredible building I’ve ever seen….the architecture is unreal, every square inch of it….My Nikon and I were in heaven…”

It looks like quite an interesting place

What’s on your desktop this week? I’ve got a thinking machine.

hmm

Is he deep in thought? Or is he programmed to behave as though he’s deep in thought?

As we all know, yesterday was Valentine’s Day. A day of flowers and chocolates and pink baubles and jewelry and greeting cards. A day in which it is expected that some of us will pay tribute, and others will revel in their loot. Or so the marketing machine would have us all believe. Candy hearts for all!

Seriously?

If I never see another pink heart again, it will be too soon. Fortunately, we can now go straight from one candy-choked holiday to the next.

Augh

But even after the magical bunny has finished pooping out foil-wrapped chocolates for all the good children, we won’t be done. We’ll need flowers for Mom and fishing poles for Dad. Once that’s taken care of it’ll be time to haul out old Uncle Sam for his annual airing-out. And then, maybe then, we can have a few days of vaguely summery peace before we’re once again bombarded with pencils and pumpkins.

moldkins

What’s on your desktop this week? I’ve got another moon.
Io on Jupiter's Edge
This is Jupiter and its moon Io. In the movie 2010, a joint US-Soviet space expedition travels to Io to locate the spacecraft Discovery, in order to reactivate the murderous computer HAL 9000, and learn what really happened to the 2001 mission. The design of the Soviet space craft in this film bears a striking resemblance to the Earth Alliance cruisers seen years later in the TV series Babylon 5.

The challenge has been put forth: Write a (very) short story without using the letter ‘L.’

. . .

Once upon a time, there was a naughty boy whose parents owned a timeshare condo in a dark scary forest. One day— a Tuesday, if you must know— the boy wandered farther into the woods than ever before. He became unsure of the route home. Worse, it began to rain. But then, he discovered a tiny cottage.

The door was open, so he stepped in. Within, the naughty boy found three chairs arranged around a hearth, upon which a warm fire burned. This might have worried any other person, but remember that this was a naughty boy. He sat in each chair, rejecting two for reasons unknown, before resting in the third for a short time.

In the kitchen, he found three cups of steaming hot porridge. Again, this might have have worried any other person, but remember, this was a naughty boy. He tasted each of the porridges, rejecting two for reasons unknown, before consuming the third in its entirety.

Now overcome with food coma, the naughty boy moved to the bedroom, where he found three tidy beds. Intending to nap in one of them, he considered but rejected two for reasons unknown. In the third bed was a rather surprised canine dressed as his grandmother.

“You’re not Red Riding Hood,” said the canine.

“I may be naughty, but this is absurd!” the boy said, and stomped out of the house.

Hark and forsooth, dear beloved Reader, and fain welcome to Your Humble Servant’s abode, wheretofore the wandering eyes of one and all shall behold literary eructations of uncommon erudition, remarkable pulchritude, and extraordinary sesquipedality.

Lest Your Humble Servant descend into alexic logorrhea, let us hereupon galeoflect to Sunday Stealing. Henceforth, let us commence.

Pretentious Blogging Meme: Part Two.

(Part One Of Which Shall Be Performed At Date Yet To Be Determined)
pre·ten·tious
1. Claiming or demanding a position of distinction or merit, especially when unjustified.
2. Making or marked by an extravagant outward show; ostentatious.
How many drafts of potential blog posts do you have right now?
I will have you know that I have no less than a dozen posts in draft state.
In what medium do you draft your posts?
Why, electronic, of course. One might agree that there are are bloggers who may well draft their posts with pencils on paper notepads, but then one might be led to wonder whether there might be other bloggers who draft their posts on vellum and parchment with quills dipped in iron gall ink.
How often do you completely scratch or delete drafts or blog post ideas?

More often than not. Most drafts reveal themselves, in the fullness of time, to be nothing other than pure and utter balderdash.
If you had to leave your blog in your will to another blogger, who would you choose?

Who wouldn’t want the honor, the distinction, the privilege of becoming The Next Electronic Replicant? Why, one would assume that because such a multitude of bloggers would beg for the position, that choosing among them through conventional means such as soliciting résumés would prove impractical. For this reason, I would will the title of The Next Electronic Replicant to the winner of a grueling twenty-two week television contest of talent, poise, pretension, fabulosity and outrageousness, with final determination to be made by audience participation.
Are there other blogs that you feel are similar to yours in content, style, or voice?

No. There are only pale reflections, faint echoes, and breezy redolences. For it was none other than I who invented this style, voice, and content. I am the artist from whom all inspiration flows. Oh, and I invented blogging. And the Internet. And the computer, and the vacuum tube, and electricity.
Has anything surprised you since you started blogging?

Indeed. I had assumed that surely I would never lack for anything to say.
What are your goals or plans for your blog going forward?

To carry onward, to entertain and connect with other bloggers.
Do you make any money from your blog? (optional) about how much a month?

Imperntinent scoundrel! Were I to gain monetarily, in how poor taste would it be to express it in preening, flaunting self satisfaction. Fortunately, this project is conducted upon a strictly for-fun basis.
What blogging system do you use?
Once upon a time, I used a Java application called Thingamablog. Sadly, it developed problems which precipitated a migration to WordPress.
How did you come up your blog name?
Ridiculous as it may seem, it was generated by computer. ERIK is the cybernetic acronym for Electronic Replicant Intended for Killing. This was first used the blog’s tagline— another title was under consideration and was fortunately rejected. Lest the public be unsettled by references to violence, the Intended for Killing was thenceforth omitted.
How many blogs do you have? What was your peak?

I admit only to this one.
Are you having as much fun as when you started?

On occasion, indeed, but oft times are they that putting thought to word seems both duty and chore.
Where do you find other bloggers like you?

Patiently perambulating comments and blogrolls and trackbacks. On occasion in participating in blogging events e.g. NaBloPoMo, Holidailies, ICLW, et cetera.
What’s your one wish when it comes to blogging?
Simply that I always continue to have as much fun as (or more than) when I started.

What’s on your desktop this week? I’ve got the moon.

Blue Moon

This image was the APOD for January 2nd. Although it shows a partial lunar eclipse as well as the elusive Blue Moon, the thing that I most like about this image is that it almost looks as though the moon is in front of the clouds. But clearly, that’s an illusion. Who would photoshop the moon in front of the clouds? Nobody but the merest beginner would do that. This must therefore be an authentic optical illusion.

Now Reading: Eyes of the Calculor by Sean McMullen.

Just Finished: Running with the Demon by Terry Brooks.

Terry Brooks is well known for his fantasy series, Shannara. Some years ago, I received a three-in-one Shannara compilation. I eventually sat down to read it to see what all the fuss was over. Unfortunately, I just couldn’t get into it and abandoned it, I would guess, about a third of the way through the first book. I remember some people trying to cross a bridge or something. It’s still on my shelf, just in case I ever find myself wondering whatever happened next.

However, I never thought to wonder whatever happened before that. It seems that there is a prequel to Shannara called Genesis of Shannara, and there is a prequel to that called The Word and The Void, and it was this last that came highly recommended to me. And by highly recommended, I mean something along the lines of, “Hey, I know an author you might like, and here’s his book, which I just happen to have brought with me.”

With a recommendation like that, how could I refuse? Without once again coming off as astonishingly rude, of course.

So I began Running with the Demon, fully expecting to quickly find myself wishing for a magic postcard to send off for the condensed edition. But in spite of (or perhaps because of) my low expectations, I was pleasanly surprised. The heroine, Nest, is a girl who can see creatures called feeders that exist to feed off negative emotions. As guardian of the park (it’s more of a forest, but ‘guardian of the forest’ sounds even cheesier) it is Nest’s duty to keep the feeders in check. She is assisted by Pick, a sylvan creature, Wraith, a mysterious wolf, and Gran, her ornery grandmother. The feeders’ attacks have suddenly become more brazen, and this is clearly due to the arrival of the titular demon in Nest’s home town. On the trail of the demon is John Ross, Knight of the Word, a man who is determined to prevent the dark future he visits in his dreams.

I do like that the meshing of the fantastic into the everyday world was kept low-key rather than taking the rather silly track of having institutionalized wizardry and the like. The plot was rather tangled in places, but resolved itself into a well knotted net by the end.

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