Happy Sunday. Today’s post is brought to you by the letter J, the number four, and Sunday Stealing.

1. What thing is nearest to you ?

A now damp but otherwise still soiled sofa cushion. “Our deep cleaner outcleans all other leading brands.” My ass. And this on the supposedly easy-to-clean Durapella. I’ve watched the videos, but no matter how diligently I scrub, the thing always looks just as grimy as when I started. My ass, indeed.

2. What is your ringtone ?

Something loud and annoying…. the Super Mario theme.

3. What was the last message in your inbox ?

It was taunting me for having forgotten my password. It said it I could reset it, but only if I could answer its riddles three.

4. Who is your best friend ?

Jeeeeeeeesus! <3<3 ^_^

5. What is the brand of your TV ?

It’s a So– you’re not planning to steal it, are you?– It’s a JC Penney Solid State Color TV. Uhm, yes. I used to watch Battlestar Galactica on it… and Buck Rogers. Beedle-eedle-eet.

6. What schools did you attend?

Who needs school when you’ve got a Solid State Color TV?

7. Do you own a MP4 ?

It’s “an MP4,” dear. This is because it is pronounced with a vowel sound at the beginning of the word: “Em-Pee Four.” And no.

8. What song are you listening to now ?

Just the music in my head. How do I make it stop?

9. Did you kiss anybody in the past 2 days ?

Why, was there some sort of kissing challenge I was unaware of? I would like to be informed of such things in advance in thefuture.

10. Have you ever kissed someone you met in the blogosphere?

Well, if I had, I’m sure it would have been blogged about.

11. What would you want to call if you weren’t your current name ?

That comment I just made about schools and TV? I take it back. Schools will teach you to form comprehensible sentences. TV won’t.

12. Would you be happy if you had everything ?

No, because among other things, I would have tapeworms, dysentery, and Space Herpes.

13. Are you always thinking of someone special?

Yes, Jeeeeeeeesus! <3<3 ^_^

14. Tell us of your most desperate dream?

I dreamed I applied patches to a bunch of virtual servers. But the patches, they were for Red Hat only, and the servers, they were Ubuntu! And the patches, they rendered all the machines inoperable! I don’t know if you’d call what I was feeling “desperate,” but it’s close enough.

15. When did you last laugh till you cried?

I was watching TV with a friend. Commercials were on, so we muted the volume. There was a commercial for an erectile dysfunction drug in which a husband and wife were watching TV and giving each other looks. We invented a soundtrack of bickering for the commercial, ending with the husband yelling “Go get it!” when he threw his TV remote out the window.

I guess you just had to be there.

16. If you had a crush, would you tell them you love him/her now ?

Remember what I said about school? I meant it.

17. If you could be anywhere in the world now, where would you want to be ?

The Haunted Mansion ride. Of course, it’s probably not running at this particular moment, but it’s the thought that counts.

18. When was your heart last broken?

Tuesday, the Fourth of November, 2008. I’m looking at you, California.

19. Whose birthday(s) is/are coming up?

If I recall correctly, that other Erik‘s birthday is real soon now.

20. How many email accounts do you have?

I’ve lost track. Seriously.