The zombie corpse of Memeday rises from its grave to perform an interpretive dance. Or possibly to look for brains to devour. Or perhaps it’s just here to torment us all with a Friday Five.
- 1. If your car/bike is wrecked (if your mass transit service goes belly-up), do you know what you would do to replace it, perhaps even have the car or bike you want already picked out?
- Let me make sure I understand this correctly. Let’s say that the car for which I am still paying spontaneously explodes one morning, fortunately not with myself or anybody I know or care about inside. I’m not entirely sure insurance will cover that. I’d be stuck paying for a pile of smoldering wreckage, wouldn’t I? So let’s say it’s not really a spontaneous explosion, but is due instead to a collision (while parked and occupied by nobody I know, etc.) with a flaming Mad Max deathwagon (fully insured, even.)
Would I even want a new car? Not really, but San Diego is such a sprawl that the only way to get anywhere worth going is via freeway. There are some cities where one could get by easily with a cute little Vespa, but not here. Not with the freeways. Now, if I lived in one of those cities, I’d totally do that. But I don’t, so I suppose I’d have to just find something affordable. Preferably something that doesn’t attract Mad Max deathwagons and is not prone to spontaneous explosions.
- 2. A client/friend gives you a lottery ticket, which wins you a prize worth (after taxes) ten times as much money as you earned/received last year. What will you do with it?
- First, I build a Mad Max deathwagon, then I set it on fire and ram it into some poor schmuck’s car. But only after I pay everything else off, and only before I ultimately fade into obscurity.
- 3. Fight or flee?
- Can I win? No? Run awaaaaaaaay!
- 4. Someone performs a random act of kindness that is exactly what you need on a bad day. If you wish to pay them back, would you write a poem, bake, buy something, or what?
- I will probably later get volunteered into helping them move, debugging their computers, or clearing smoldering wreckage from their driveways.
- 5. Your manager commands you to pick a charity to contribute to. Do you resist? If not, which charity would be your first choice?
- Am I commanded to donate my own money? Damn right I resist! I insist that I am my own charity and produce a poorly forged 501(c)(3) document.