Continuing on with the theme of change, I’ve often imagined becoming a rich, famous, bestselling writer of either epic space opera or perhaps plausible cyber-crime. I never really thought of writing mainstream stuff, let alone for teens, until I found a mix-and-match plot generator. Voila! Instant after-school special material!

As the story opens, the main character is in a drunken stupor because she killed a small child. On the advice of her favorite uncle, she is making a video about the traumatic past, during which her puppy tragically committed suicide. While recording these events, she meets a boy who is even worse off than the main character, and soon runs away helping the main character realize that life has no meaning.

Now all I need is a great title. In fact, I just happen to know of a Random Title Generator which suggests that I should call my tale of anguish and grief The Sucking Magic. Erm… no, let’s try that again. How about Rose of Death? That will be a perfect title, once I make it into a glaringly obvious pun by naming a character Rose. And also have her rise from the dead. I’m thinking it will be… the small child? No, even better, the puppy, whose spirit will mercilessly torment the main character, driving her mad with guilt, which in turn results in the demise of the small child in a tragic Tupperware accident.

Of course, just on the slim chance the book is banned, or worse, reviled by critics and parent-teacher associations alike, I’ll release it under a pen name. Fortunately, I just happen to know of a Random Pen Name Generator. It suggests the nom de plume of Vernon Griffes.

Of course, since every great book needs an equally great cover, I thought back to the Album Cover Meme. So I did a Flickr search for "Rose of Death" and found a picture of a hat released under Creative Commons. A few hasty minutes with the Gimp and voila!


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3 thoughts on “Voila!”

  1. OMG…you’re a GIMPr too?!
    I can’t believe that puppies are so depressed nowadays that they have no other choice but to committ suicide…what a cruel world we live in!

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