Open Letter to Those With Excessively Busy Pages

Dear Person With An Excessively Busy Page,

Although I might have liked your content and might have considered looking at more of it, the design of your site makes me doubt this. I’m not talking about the layout and the colors, which are most likely fine.

No, I’m talking about the five or six visible Flash ads scattered around your page. I’m also talking about that ridiculous fluttering page curl thingy at the upper right of your page. I’m talking about all the JavaScript that pulls in all the ads from your affiliates, the JavaScript in the forms in the iframes generated by all your affiliates, not to mention the excessive JavaScript used in your own forms and menus.

When I try to scroll down your page and find the information I came to find, the page lurches along as though it’s in rush-hour traffic. I can only assume that the page is still loading, because even if I leave the browser alone, the elements on your page are still shuffling around and trying to figure out where they belong.

Let me tell you, the only way I’m going to click on one of your sponsors now is by accident. Especially if you’ve got a SitePal that won’t shut up.

Sure, you could employ the flutter-down dialog box, and put a bunch of Greeked text up and tell me that I have to register to see the real info, but that’s not going to help your case. In fact, I’ll probably make a note to never visit your site again.

Then again, Person With An Excessively Busy Page, you may not have any ads. You might instead have an animated page header and a motion-sickness inducing animated background. You probably also have a pile of (auto playing?) YouTube clips, an animated 3-d avatar doing the Robot, a shoutbox, a poll, a recent visitors log, a playlist widget, a library widget, a favorite movies widget, a slide show, a virtual pet, and a hit counter, each a service provided by a different Internet entity.

You do realize that these things don’t just pop fully-formed out of a few characters of HTML on their own, don’t you? Each extra goodie you amuse yourself with means that your reader’s browser has to make a jump across the Internet to get that goodie, and then think about what to do with it, and then do it. While a couple of goodies might not be a big deal, when you pile them om, it starts to add up.

Sincerely,

The Electronic Replicant

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2 thoughts on “Open Letter to Those With Excessively Busy Pages”

  1. I hate that too. Thank God. If people have ads all over, I really don’t like that.
    And I hate to be the person that says it, but I do hate blogs that are pink. Or that have colored text. Or 18 different colored texts, it’s just irritating.

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