Dear Investigators of the Paranormal,
I am a man of science. This doesn’t mean that I believe only what I read in textbooks. Rather, I believe in the scientific method: observation, hypothesis, testing, repeat. The scientific method refines our knowledge, eventually correcting false assumptions while validating others.
Your personal experiences are the worst type of evidence, anecdotal evidence. I don’t care if someone touched your hair, if you felt a shiver down your spine, or if you just plain felt uncomfortable in the evil wing chair in the evil corner of the evil room. How can anyone else verify what you felt? Of course, if everyone feels uncomfortable in the evil wing chair, then there might be something to its alleged evil-ness.
That brings up another point. Some people are so credulous that they’ll believe anything you tell them. Under the right conditions, they may even believe themselves to be possessed. I would be quite interested to see the results, should you be unknowingly given a mixture of genuine claims and placebo claims. Would both sorts of claim be validated equally?
I am not saying that your efforts are completely without merit. Are there psychologically intimidating locations? Yes there are. And do strange things happen at some of these places, things which are difficult to explain rationally? Yes, they do. But are these happenings the work of spirits? I don’t think so. Then what are they caused by? That’s what I’d like you to find out.
But be warned, if you come to a conclusion along the lines of "fluctuations in the Earth’s magnetic field have created sympathetic vibrations in the quartz crystals in the bedrock, resulting in these apparitions," then I will definitely ask to see a reproducible demonstration.
The Electronic Replicant