Dear Building Management,

First of all, thank you for having an elevator. Although I could probably use at least one walk up a flight of stairs every day, it’s ever so much easier to take the elevator, even if it’s ever so much slower. I can’t recall having taken a slower elevator. Except once, but I think that may have actually been a tree house. And I’m not sure, but that tree house might have been a little faster.

I’m pleased that you acknowledged this problem and took action, even if that action was only to install vending machines to coax still more money from your tenants. Don’t get me wrong— I like a good dose of caffiene and high-fructose corn syrup as much as the next guy. However, I believe that a more efficient solution exists.

I propose that you link the auto gate keypad to the elevator call button. Think about it. If someone drives in through the gate, then at some point they’ll call the elevator. Why not automatically send the elevator down to the the ground floor?


The Electronic Replicant

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