Dear Person Chatting Up The Barista

Dear Person Chatting Up The Barista,

Congratulations, you’ve earned yourself an Electronic Replicant Cease and Desist Notice. Perhaps you haven’t noticed, but the barista isn’t standing behind the counter to make conversation. She is back there to sell coffee, which she can’t do with you sitting in front of the counter like a giant toadstool with a blabbering mouth.

Don’t tell me that you’re only trying to brighten her day. As someone who once spent a lot of time on the far side of the counter, let me tell you that everyone on that side dreads the person who obliviously holds up the line. Why? For some reason, it irritates those waiting behind, and as a result, they become ever so slightly more rude as the seconds tick by. Thus your idle conversation will probably result in a net darkening of this poor barista’s day.

In conclusion, dear Person Chatting Up The Barista, please execute your transaction with efficiency and courtesy, and then step out of the way. If we all did that, we’d make her job that much easier, and her day would be that much nicer.


The Electronic Replicant

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One thought on “Dear Person Chatting Up The Barista”

  1. I bought my baby a stuffed mushroom toy today (it’s made of organic cotton! it has a smiley face! how could I not?) but now every time I look at it, I’m going to think it’s a toadstool with a blabbering mouth.
    Maybe I’ll just carry it around and that way I won’t get mad at people who blabber (because that is irritating).

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