A Stinky Proposal

Sari from The Geek Inside says:

Megan from Fried Okra says that blog stats leap through the roof if you talk about poop, so let’s test it out.

Very good. I am always up for a little experiment, although I try to avoid experiments involving poop as a general matter of principle. In fact, I try to avoid poop whenever possible. I think it would be great if people didn’t even have to poop. Think about it, a person could save about, oh I don’t know, say ten minutes per day. That’s an hour on the crapper every week, or just over two days straight every year. Think about the lost productivity!

I propose as a theoretical invention, an implantable cybernetic device that would use standard wall current to simulate the process of photosynthesis as performed by plants. The body’s waste products would be electronically filtered from the blood and then photosynthesized back into fuel. It would essentially be a battery charger for the human body. One would need to eat only to take in trace minerals, salts, vitamins, etc., and these could simply be taken in the form of a beverage. Thus, by eliminating food, we can eliminate poop forever!

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2 thoughts on “A Stinky Proposal”

  1. Your comment on my blog yesterday made me laugh pretty hard. Actually it was the funniest thing I’ve heard in a while, so thanks!
    And yes, some people lose a lot more time than others, it would be interesting to see if your proposal worked. Think of all the things that would be getting done that aren’t now! (but then, a lot of magazines and Sudoku puzzles would be unread and unsolved, I suppose).

  2. Y’know at first I was inclined to dismiss this out of hand – wait. Poop in hand? No that’s not it.
    I don’t– lost my thought. Sorry.
    Poop has that effect on me. Apparently.

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