- 1. Flip to page 18, paragraph 4 – in the book closest to you right now, what does it say?
- "So pseudoscience in America is part of a global trend. Its causes, dangers, diagnosis and treatment are likely to be similar everywhere. Here, psychics ply their wares on extended television commercials, personally endorsed by entertainers."
- 2. If you stretch out your left arm – as far as possible, what are you touching?
- Air, or the far left edge of a battered old desk that looks like it was made in the Seventies.
- 3. What’s the last program you watched on tv?
- 4. Without looking, guess what time it is.
- About 3:00 PM. (It was 2:43. Close enough.)
- 5. Except the computer, what can you hear right now?
- A printing press going clack-clack-clack.
- 6. When was the last time you were outside and what did you do?
- It was about 1:30 PM. I walked from my car back into to the building.
- 7. What are you wearing?
- Brown corduroy pants, and a beige-ish-tan short-sleeved shirt. When I’ve reached this outfit, I know it’s laundry day.
- 8. Did you dream last night? If you did, what about?
I saw a woman walking down a typical city street past shops and brownstones. It could have been Sesame Street, except that it was dark and forbidding. A double-decker bus drove between us, and I looked up and saw that it had chain guns mounted on the upper deck for the passengers’ use. It was also festooned with bushels of barbed wire here and there. I said, "That looks like something out of Road Warrior . "
When the bus passed, I looked back to where the woman was and saw that she was now surrounded by a bunch of thugs who were trying to rob her. They started to beat her down, when suddenly she reached within herself and found hidden knowledge. Incandescent white symbols filled the air around her, revolving around her axis. I could see she was casting a spell, but what I said was, "Ah, she has gained understanding of the matrix ."
When she was done toasting the goons, V (for Vendetta) stepped from the darkness of the alley behind her and supportively set his hand on her shoulder. I could see he was impressed and was going to enlist her help.
So, what do you think, Doc? Do I watch too much TV?
- 9. When was the last time you laughed?
- This morning, when I was speculating as to the content of Disney’s The Story Of Menstruation .
CHEESY NARRATOR: The story of menstruation begins when the ovary releases an egg to begin its journey down the Fallopian tube.
ANIMATED EGG: (In a Mister Hankey voice:) Hi, I’m an egg! (Prances out the door) Dum-dee-dum.
- 10. What’s on the walls, in the room you’re in right now?
- Bulletin board, calendar, "Network Protocols Map," and this:
- 11. Have you seen anything strange lately?
- The Banana Guard.
- 12. What do you think about this meme?
- Initially, I was excited, but now I’m bored.
- 13. What’s the last film you saw?
- The Prestige
- 14. If you became a multimillionaire, what would you do with the money?
- Same as everyone else, I imagine. Pay off student and auto loans, buy a house to be sumptuously furnished, and then shrewdly invest the rest of the money so I wouldn’t have to work anymore.
- 15. Tell us something about yourself that most people don’t know.
- I had a dog named Duke and a cat named Buttercup.
- 16. If you could change ONE THING in this world, without regarding politics or bad guilt – what would it be?
- I don’t like this question. First of all, everything has been made political. Suppose I said I wanted to stop the erosion of the rain forest. Or suppose I said I would get rid of the ozone hole and greenhouse gases? How could that be accomplished in a non-political way? Miraculously? Maybe the question should read, "What miracle would you perform for the world?" In that case, I would give everybody telepathy, so there would be no more misunderstandings or secrets, and perhaps we could all finally live in peace.
- 17. Do you like dancing?
- 18. George Bush?
- I’m afraid you’ve dialed the wrong number.
- 19. What do/did you want your children’s names to be, girl/boy?
- Well, unless a miracle happens, I don’t foresee any children. However, I always thought a girl’s name should be beautiful and exotic, so perhaps a girl should be named after a moon of Jupiter or Saturn : Ganymede, Callisto, Rhea, Mimas, etc. A boy, on the other hand, should have a name that connotes not only strength, but respectability, so perhaps a boy should be named after a president: Franklin, Grant, Theodore, Benjamin, etc. (Yes, I know Benjamin Franklin was never a president.)
- 20. Ok, so I decided to make this a 20 question meme instead of the longer version. Does it still count? I am thankful for…
- The Universe for having parameters hospitable to life.