Holding an Onion to the Lord

If it weren’t for NaBloPoMo , I’d be keeping my figurative mouth shut about now, posing in a wise and mysterious fashion. However, a challenge is a challenge. Unfortunately, nothing newsworthy happened today. I went to work, mailed out a resume, bought six guppies for my aquarium, ordered chinese food, tried to fix a stand mixer, browsed through Flickr, and here we are.

Since Saturday is rapidly appraoching, I have three choices to make tonight’s deadline.

  1. Ramble incoherently for two more paragraphs, even though that apparently makes Baby Jesus cry.
  2. Take another online quiz and analyze the results.
  3. Post another photo and add a humorous caption.

Now, I hate to repeat myself, so I’ll save options two and three for a little later. That leaves option one. I hate to see anyone cry, but this is for a good cause.

The post I keep mentioning has a few things to say about newspeak like Leet and textanese. I don’t care for them, either.

I have a quite a few pet peeves when it comes to language. I have no sympathy for bad spellers, and I will ruthlessly mock anyone who misues an apostrophe or quotation mark. However, there are a few expressions that people use that stand my hair on end just as well as if they had scraped their nails against a chalkboard.

Number three. Using "$$$" as a shorthand spelling for "money." It’s only two more characters. Sheesh.

Number two. Pronouncing "www" as "dub-dub-dub." Just say "triple-double-you." It’s only two syllables longer, but it’s more precise, and you won’t sound (to me) like a caveman.

Number one. Spelling "because" as "b/c." No! This is wrong, as the latter means "b or c" or perhaps "b divided by c." We have plenty of perfetctly good punctuation marks that can already be used to indicate an abbrevation. For example, the apostrophe can make "International" into "Int’l," "Association" into "Ass’n," and "Forecastle" into "Fo’c’s’le."

More importantly, the humble period can be used to change "Number" into "No." and "Ounce" into "oz." and "Pound" into "Lb." A period could certainly turn "Because" into "Bz."

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