Kaboom! Oh, it’s beautiful.

Jul 1

Posted by erik in misc | 3 Comments


So, Dear Readers, a funny thing happened to me on the way to the forum. Wait, I don’t have a forum. Perhaps I was on the way to the bathroom. Or the tire shop. Which is the one with the plastic hamburger on top? I guess it was the forum after all.

Anyway, I spent many hours writing the perfect post on whatever it was that finally roused me from my work induced catatonia liquor induced stupor miasma of laziness. It was brilliant, if I do say so myself, truly the greatest post in the world. No sooner did I hit save than did Thingamablog eat my post and then figuratively shoot itself in the figurative head. I screamed and wailed and whispered vile obscenities, but all for naught. Thingamablog, my formerly beloved desktop blogging application, had choked on its own database and was now a vegetable.

At this point, I could either repeat what I did last time, what with the downloading, and the Perl, and the recategorizing, and the blah blah blah. But as the man once said, “Foomafool, can’t get fooled again.” And so I decided to join the year 2009, already in progress. I know I always said I’d go for Joomla if I ever had to make the switch, having used it for other projects, but having used Joomla for other projects, I know that it (like many other things) is great for some purposes and not so much for others. So, WordPress, then.

Fortunately, I had a friend who was technically savvy enough to help me set WordPress up on my computer. The odd thing is that nobody seems to be able to see or hear him but myself. Weird. Oh, and he asked to be paid in Quatloos. Like I said, weird. Anyway, I was able to import an RSS backup I fortunately thought to make a while back. And then I imported my existing feed, leaving only a very small gap which I was able to fill by (sigh) downloading, and Perl, and blah dee blah blah. And then I found a way, even, to transfer my comments from Haloscan, though even that required downloading and Perl and blah dee blah quack quack. And the comment count isn’t correct on the front page, for some reason.

So, yeah.

How’s your week going?

Link-o-Rama for Thursday, June 25th

Jun 25

Posted by erik in link-o-rama | 1 Comment


So, um, yeah! How about that Swine Flu Chrysler-Fiat Merger Obama’s position on DADT and DOMA Mahmoud Ahmadinijad missing governor freaky-ass caterpillar? Pretty crazy, eh?

Since I’ve apparently had enough of memes for a while (it doesn’t help that most of the ones I’ve seen lately seem to be a member of the TMI species) I decided that I would instead put together a cute little PHP script that would fetch my reviews from StumbleUpon, and package them into a slightly different RSS feed, which I could then import directly into my blog post editor. Some among you may be tempted to classify it as a form of self-licking ice cream cone. Maybe it is. Or maybe it’s quaint and old fashioned. Maybe it’s both. Maybe it’s a self-licking scoop of some old-fashioned flavor like butter brickle, pistachio, or bubble gum.

Meh, who cares. On with the links!

Alice and Kev

A strangely moving story of a pair of "homeless" Sims. I was so moved by the story, that I got out my old copy of The Sims (Linux Edition.) I discovered that the version of WineX it was encapsulated in was built against a very old version of glibc, so I had to dig out my old copies of Red Hat 7. So in the end, I ran a simulator within an emulator within an emulator.

haque :: design + research

An installation was designed to simulate conditions found in allegedly haunted environments. Participants were subjected to some, all, or no stimulus and asked to record their impressions. Is it art dressed up as science or science dressed up as art?

WARNING: Peanut Butter Cookies (recipe)

I don’t know if the "WARNING" applies to the peanut, the butter, or the cookies, but they look all kinds of dangerous. I’d better confiscate these. You know… for public safety.

Illegal to be a Jerk

Whatever happened to just being polite and acting like an adult, anyway?

You know…for Christmas.

Why can’t I write posts like this one? Oh, yeah, because nobody ever gives me creepy candy-studded skulls, you know… for Christmas.

The Blue Rene Meme

Jun 14

Posted by erik in amusement | 3 Comments


Happy Sunday. Today’s post is brought to you by the letter J, the number four, and Sunday Stealing.

1. What thing is nearest to you ?
A now damp but otherwise still soiled sofa cushion. "Our deep cleaneroutcleans all other leading brands." My ass. And this on thesupposedly easy-to-clean Durapella. I’ve watched the videos, but nomatter how dilligently I scrub, the thing always looks just as grimyas when I started. My ass, indeed.
2. What is your ringtone ?
Something loud and annoying…. the Super Mario theme.
3. What was the last message in your inbox ?
It was taunting me for having forgotten my password. It said it Icould reset it, but only if I could answer its riddles three.
4. Who is your best friend ?
Jeeeeeeeesus! <3<3 ^_^
5. What is the brand of your TV ?
It’s a So– you’re not planning to steal it, are you?– It’s a JCPenney Solid State Color TV. Uhm, yes. I used to watch BattlestarGalactica on it… and Buck Rogers. Beedle-eedle-eet.
6. What schools did you attend?
Who needs school when you’ve got a Solid State Color TV?
7. Do you own a MP4 ?
It’s "an MP4," dear. This is because it is pronounced with a vowelsound at the beginning of the word: "Em-Pee Four." And no.
8. What song are you listening to now ?
Just the musicin my head. How do I makeit stop?
9. Did you kiss anybody in the past 2 days ?
Why, was there some sort of kissing challenge I was unaware of? Iwould like to be informed of such things in advance in thefuture.
10. Have you ever kissed someone you met in the blogosphere?
Well, if I had, I’m sure it would have been blogged about.
11. What would you want to call if you weren’t your current name ?
That comment I just made about schools and TV? I take it back. Schoolswill teach you to form comprehensible sentences. TV won’t.
12. Would you be happy if you had everything ?
No, because among other things, I would have tapeworms, dysentery, andSpace Herpes.
13. Are you always thinking of someone special?
Yes, Jeeeeeeeesus! <3<3 ^_^
14. Tell us of your most desperate dream?
I dreamed I applied patches to a bunch of virtual servers. But thepatches, they were for Red Hat only, and the servers, they wereUbuntu! And the patches, they rendered all the machines inoperable! Idon’t know if you’d call what I was feeling "desperate," but it’sclose enough.
15. When did you last laugh till you cried?
I was watching TV with a friend. Commercials were on, so we muted the volume. There was a commercial for an erectile dysfunction drug in which a husband and wife were watching TV and giving each other looks. We invented a soundtrack of bickering for the commercial, ending with the husband yelling "Go get it!" when he threw his TV remote out the window.
I guess you just had to be there.
16. If you had a crush, would you tell them you love him/her now ?
Remember what I said about school? I meant it.
17. If you could be anywhere in the world now, where would you want tobe ?
The Haunted Mansion ride. Of course, it’s probably not running at thisparticular moment, but it’s the thought that counts.
18. When was your heart last broken?
Tuesday, the Fourth of November, 2008. I’m looking at you, California.
19. Whose birthday(s) is/are coming up?
If I recall correctly, thatother Erik’s birthday is real soon now.
20. How many email accounts do you have?
I’ve lost track. Seriously.

Holy Crap!

Jun 11

Posted by erik in misc | 2 Comments


Holy crap! I just had a terrible scare when I thought I have not updated this since I had to start working to pay the ridiculous food and petrol prices to feed my kids… You would not believe that my hands were chopped off and I was waiting for bionic ones. Stupid Global Warming!

Oh, wait… I’ve used that one before, haven’t I?

Uhm… Okay, would you believe that I got so distracted by tracking down the sinister forces that control our lives that I could hardly tie my shoes– and then my water heater exploded. I am so much of a space cadet sometimes! Anyway, I hope my new meditation program clears up the problem this week.

You say you’ve heard that one before, too?

Well, would you take pity on me if I said that constipation has made me into a walking time bomb?

No, I don’t have a note from my doctor, but he did tell me to wear this warning sign:

Well, yeah, he’s not a very good doctor. But he has got a degree… in murderology. And another in murderonomy.  And he’s actually a some kind of sea monster.

Uhm… yeah. A sea monster. So there.

Now Reading – May 31

May 31

Posted by erik in now reading | 4 Comments


Now Reading: Spook Country by William Gibson.

Just Finished: Perdido Street Station by China Miéville.

I’ve read some other books of Mr. Miéville’s (The Scar, The Iron Council) and found them well-written enough to investigate Perdido Street Station, the book where it all started. Though all three books share a setting in common (the world of Bas-Lag,) each is essentially a stand-alone work and can be read in any order. The setting is rich and detailed. It’s been said that one ideal of cyberpunk SF was to create a "crammed prose" full of "eyeball kicks" (vivid, telling details that create a kaleidoscopic effect of swarming visual imagery against a baroquely elaborate SF background.) In my opinion, this setting succeeds in the ideal, though the setting is more properly pigeonholed as steampunk rather than cyberpunk.

As for the plot, I do enjoy a good whirlpool story. Distant events and characters begin slowly spiraling toward one another, constantly accelerating, as though exerting the force of gravity upon one another, until some event horizon is crossed and the story whirls faster and faster toward a conclusion under its own terrible power. And this was an excellent whirlpool story, though Mr. Miéville seems to have a signature move of yanking the rug out from under the reader in the climax or denouement of his stories.

The Five Habits of…

May 29

Posted by erik in amusement | 2 Comments


Oh, my, is it Friday again? Where did the week go…? Oh, that’s right, I spent it slaving over a computer. A red-hot computer.A thankless red-hot computer, might I add. One that seems to think I will taste like bacon.

1. What bad habits do you have?
I shoot messengers, put my eggs into one basket, and count my chickens before they hatch. I put the cart before the horse, I leap before I look, and put pride before a fall. I cry over spilled milk, I swear like a sailor, and I make omelets from broken eggs.
2. What bad habit would you most like to break?
Using clichés.
3. Have you ever overcome any bad habits? What were they?
Yes. There was a time that I used to post nothing but memes, but thenI… oh, wait, never mind….
4. Do you have any habits other people consider bad that you ratherlike about yourself? What are they?
Yes. I sleep and wake as though I were in the next time zone westward.
5. What habit annoys you most in other people?
Noisy Eating.

Wednesday Wooha-Wooha

May 27

Posted by erik in amusement | No Comments


And now we once again turn to Wednesday Weirdness for mid-week inspiration.

1.) How easily are you insulted?
Insulted? Me? How dare you say such a thing! How dare you! Begone from my sight! Begone!
No, wait! Wait! Come back! I still have six more questions to answer.
2.) How often do you perform oral sex on your SO?
I’ve just been informed that the official answer is "not often enough." Thank you for playing, and we have some lovely parting gifts for you.
3.) What brand of shoes do you find to be most comfortable?
Oddly enough, they were steel-toed boots, but I don’t recall the brand.
4.) What are 3 to 5 items you NEVER leave the house without?
Like everyone else, wallet, keys, and phone.
5.) Who did you look up to as you were growing up? Who do you look up to now?
Most everyone. I was like four feet tall. Now I only look up to those six feet or taller.
6.) If you’ve ever been a strip club of any type, what was one of your most memorable moments?
There was one night in Vegas that was kind of a blur. I thought I was at a strip club, but I later found out that it was an automatic car wash.
7.) Should prostituation be legal? Why or why not?
Well, it’s legal in Nevada, isn’t it?

Friday V

May 22

Posted by erik in amusement | No Comments


A friend told me there’d be a new TV series based on V this fall. "As in V for Vendetta?" I gasped. But no, he meant the rubber-masked guinea-pig-eating snake-faced invading aliens V. Which was the inspiration for this week’s Friday Five…

1. If aliens were invading, what would you do, hide or wait by your TV?
Neither. I’d cough Swine Flu all over them. Alien death machines are no match for superior Terran viruses. Never mind that they’d probably be as susceptible to my sniffles as I would be to Dutch Elm disease.
2. The aliens have landed and they haven’t blown the planet to bits, how would you react if they looked like us?
I would be incredibly surprised. The chances of that are utterly ludicrous. Never mind that’s what television has claimed all along.
3. What if the aliens were disgusting looking (like a pile of rotten cheese), then how would you react?
I would be a bit more satisfied, although I think even rotten cheese is a bit too terracentric. Never mind all those fools who’d claim the aliens were all Photoshopped.
4. The aliens are about to make an announcement and all communication goes out. Your neighbor says that she/he heard that the aliens have announced they are going to destroy Earth. Do you believe him/her? Why?
Not really. If television is to be believed, Earth is rich with resources such as air and water, other compounds that are fantastically rare on other planets (but here we put them into vitamins), and food sources (especially tasty humans.) Never mind that the aliens’ very presence has upset our fundamental conceptions of the universe, thrown our societies into chaos, and that the aliens are probably going to strip-mine the planet for the previously-mentioned resources.
5. The aliens have announced that they will share their knowledge with humanity if a certain person has sex with one of them and they call your name. To make it more palatable, the alien can change into any porn star that you want. Knowing that your partner will find out if you say yes, will you do it?
My favorite porn star and an alien? Well, you know what they say, it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. I think the knowledge of how to turn into any porn star I want would be worth it. Never mind that I’d probably end up catching Space Herpies from the encounter. Or I’d end up like that guy from Alien. Or worst of all, both.

Calling Names

May 20

Posted by erik in misc | No Comments


I was walking down the street this afternoon when I spied something familiar in a newspaper machine. It was an infographic on the front page of USA Today, accompanying an article on popular baby names.

The graphic looked familiar as it was created by Wordle, an interesting tool I stumbled upon a while back that combines two utterly geeky fields– statistics and typography– to create informative works of art. Or at least artsy arrangements of words. You can feed it any text you like to see a frequency analysis. For example, here’s my RSS feed.

Go think one thing now, like something.

Now back to the topic of names for children. This topic was also being discussed on the radio this morning. As I listened, two sides to the story emerged. One one hand are trendy parents who now tend toward giving a child the most exotic name imaginable, in the hopes that the child will live up to the promise of the name. On the other hand is everyone else, who not only worry that children with bizarre names will suffer under them; but who also won’t be able to spell or pronounce the name. (I can sympathize with the latter. I have a nice easy name, but most people want to spell it wrong.) Unsurprisingly, the show concluded that it was the responsibility of the parent to choose a name with a balance of originality and familiarity, with a strong hint that historical names, such as those of one’s grandparents, would be suitable.

That’s a reasonable suggestion. But last I heard, this was America. Responsibility? Balance? Hints? Pfff! We’ll name our kids Pabst, 4Real or Tallulah Does The Hula if we want to. Okay, so those last two are actually from Australia or New Zealand or something. But speaking of foreign countries, a few of them publish lists of acceptable names to prevent this sort of thing. Well, that and to prevent cultural erosion. Of course, America doesn’t really have a base culture to erode, but rather a layer of sediment that has accreted into a somewhat firm mass, and also nobody here would ever stand for being told what was and wasn’t an acceptable name for their baby…. never mind if the name they liked happened to already be on the list.

So, why not make everybody happy? Some cultures have "child names" and "adult names." Why not let the parents name their kids whatever nutty thing they want, but also give the child the opportunity to choose a new name at some point?

Weird… Creepy!

May 19

Posted by erik in amusement | No Comments


Today’s post has been brought to you by Wednesday Weirdness.

1. If your boss says, "I would like to talk to you about your internetusage" what would your first reaction be?
"This oughtta be good."
2. If you SO asks you "Does this make me look fat?" how do you answer?
"No, your fat makes you look fat."
3. What is one thing that you pay for, but resent having to do so?
Air. What, you don’t pay for air? What do you mean, nobodypays for air?
4. A day is being created in honor of you. How should we celebrate it?
Costumed revelry! Uptempo singing and dancing! And barbecue!
5. What CD or Album in your music collection do you secretly enjoy,but would be embarrassed if others heard you grooving to it?
I’d be more embarrased if somone saw me grooving to somethingin my collection.
6. How long do you think you would last if you were a contestant onSurvivor?
Long enough for the narrator to ask, "and remember this guyfrom the season’s very first episode? Me neither! Nyuck, nyuck,nyuck!"